Student Section

[chadm]

For those of you still in this category, which following group best describes you?

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"Old School"

Using his college ID from 1985, this seedy alum is no longer a student but still manages his way into the student section. After years of diminishing tolerance, he's also a few drinks too deep and ready to collapse after standing for two full halves of football.

"The Drunk Kid"

Armed with a hidden flask from his brother's wedding and a pair of cargo shorts with bulging pockets, expect this character to make lewd comments to your girlfriend, curse wildly for no apparent reason and pass out in a bathroom stall before the end of the game.

"Night at the Roxbury"

With a button-down shirt and sculpted hair, this predator prowls the stadium and hunts down female prospects despite a crippling hangover from the previous night. Playing against his own clock, he usually loses interest and flees for a bar or club with eight minutes left in the third quarter, regardless of score.

"The Cheerleader"

She's loud and irritating. But she's in charge of creating an interactive experience for all game attendees. Yinz better recognize. Damn it, she will start a stupid chant or the wave even if your team trails by three touchdowns late in the fourth quarter. And that's a freaking promise.

"The Expert"

Usually traveling with The Cheerleader, this guy creates a scene by openly ranting about the team's performance and offering his personal coaching suggestions. However, the root of his keen football knowledge stems from a brief stint as backup quarterback in fifth grade and is shaky at best.

"The Clueless Girl"

Fourth-and-10? Do it again! For her, every event -- regardless of implication -- is praiseworthy, mainly because she has no idea what's going on. But despite her annoying demeanor and propensity for standing in your line of sight, she's usually pretty attractive and, therefore, gets a free pass.

"The Tag-Along"

A close descendant of The Clueless Girl, this fan comes with friends but is totally apathetic toward the game, never dressed for the occasion and can usually be found sitting down or reading a book during a crucial point in the game.

"The 12th Man"

Overly intense and raspy with sweeping sweat stains from three quarters of yelling, this guy scares the crap out of nearby students and sometimes clears out an entire row with raging body odor.

"The Friend from Home"

Totally overwhelmed by his or her first tailgating experience, this person sometimes doubles as The Drunk Kid and is a lock to rave about the experience for the next five to 10 years.

"Jimmy the Greek"

The odds-on favorite to be sporting aviator sunglasses, checkered shorts and/or a crooked hat, this guy will tell you everything about his fraternity before game's end, including all secret credos, handshakes and sexual conquests from the past decade. Incessantly name-dropping, this fan always knows a guy who knows another guy who can get you a case of Nattie Light for a few extra bills.

"The Sorority Girl"

A hybrid of The Cheerleader and The Clueless Girl -- and predictably a fan of Jimmy the Greek -- this fan attends games strictly for social purposes and the outside chance of becoming involved in a peripheral Grey's Anatomy discussion.

"The Student Mascot"

Scantily clad and/or wearing a questionable outfit, this student will resort to extreme measures to get front-row seats and attract television cameras, embarrassing the hell out of his or her parents in the process.

"The Enemy at the Gate"

Visibly wearing the colors of the opposing team, this fan bought his ticket from an unassuming freshman who needed money for books and/or Halo 3. This guy has an uncanny ability to incite fisticuffs by merely glancing around the grandstand and is often the target of wayward bottles thrown from 20 rows back.

 

[Skyh13]

"The Band Kid"

Man, where is that one?

 

[brianhos]

Someone admitted to being in the band?

 

[isu_bub]

I am close to the expert. I'm talking to myself the whole game usually. I didn't play quarterback ever though. :biggrin:

 

[Cyclone_Power]

Definitely "The Expert"

 

[Bader]

Hmmm, somewhere between The Drunk Kid and The 12th Man. When it gets down into late October/November, my hip flask of SoCo is the only thing that keeps me warm

 

[Stormin']

I am definitely "The 12th man"

My buddy Dan, is "The expert" LOL. 5th grade/inter mural flag football QB LOL.

 

[hansen55]

Yep, I'm "The 12th man."

 

[Cyclone62]

I'm a mix of the 12th and The Cheerleader. Take away the sweat stains, and the being a girl, and viola, you have Cyclone62. I don't know if I'd call it BO as much as Spirit though. :wink:

 

[keepngoal]

The Drunk Kid for sure, I was very creative at bringing in booze. But of course, without the cursing and lewd comments... i think.

-keep.

 

[Cyclone62]

The Drunk Kid for sure, I was very creative at bringing in booze. But of course, without the cursing and lewd comments... i think.

I stopped being the Drunk Kid because I found out that there are more morons the further you are from the field. You can be in row 15, have 5 within hearing distance. Row 2, maybe one. Upper Deck, you're lucky to find 5 that aren't idiots.

 

[keepngoal]

this is only pertained to the student section... in my season tix seats.. I am a lot more careful of my presence and state of mind.

-keep

 

[Cyclone62]

this is only pertained to the student section... in my season tix seats.. I am a lot more careful of my presence and state of mind.

-keep

I know, but that's the way it tends to be in the student section. (The only place in JTS I've watched games)

 

[cstrunk]

The 12th man.

It's hard work.

 

[price26]

I saw this the other day, but I'm half Expert/half 12th Man. You can call me the Expert 12th Man.

 

[Flag Guy]

I'd be a mix of

The Cheerleader (Down by 39 nine points in the 4th quarter on the road, what am I doing? "Thats another Iowa State First Down!!! Doo Doo Do Doooooo... Go Cyclones!")

12th Man (Sans the sweat stains... usually. Yell my freak'n brains out and usually have to take tylenol because of the headaches that deveolop)

Student Mascot (If you've ever seen me at a game... I stand out in a crowd. Also 2x a year, homecoming and the last home game (so in November) I body paint. And lets not forget the red and yellow contacts I have this year :biggrin

 

[Rogue52]

I saw this the other day, but I'm half Expert/half 12th Man. You can call me the Expert 12th Man.

I agree with this assessment of myself. I'm not the annoying Expert that really is the backup flag football quarterback talking, but I'm also not the loudest in my section. So, mix of the Expert and 12th man.

I do think the author could have come up with a lot more funnier ones. There are a lot cliches to be found...

 

[KneeGusto]

I'm the sweaty, fat (though losing lbs by the day) dude that applauds every positive offensive play, cheers every decent defensive play, and stays til the end of the game.

I contribute both to the Athletic Dept and the ISUCF"V"MB. I tailgate for hours yet go into the stadium an hour ahead of time. I don't swear but I scream for my team.

I'm in it for the long haul.

 

[Al_4_State]

Definitely the Drunk Kid crossed with the Expert, and a little 12th Man thrown in. Im not lewd to other attendees, but I can get incredibly profane towards whats going on on the field. I generally (especially the previous 2 seasons, not so much this one) was very critical of strategy, usually one of the loudest cheerers (trying to start chants- key word, "trying") and usually have enough booze on me to kill a freshman, lol.

 

[cloneu]

I am probably the 12th Man, but starting on my old school, but I am only 1 year removed so its won't be too bad for awhile.