I never lived there, but I'm sure my sister would agree with you. They welcome tourists for their money but try raising a Haole family there. The racism is rampant. For example, an islander teacher locked my young grade school niece in a closet as discipline and the school administration refused to even look into it. It wasn't just an allegation, the teacher admitted doing it.
As far as visiting goes, I really had enough of Oahu after a few days. However, we enjoyed Maui enough to go back for a second trip.
This is true to a certain extent. I have always had a historical interest in Pacific life. So when my best friend moved to Hawaii 2 years ago, I was jealous as hell. I had inquired about the same thing, and this is what I have learned from him and other resources.
During the influx of mainlanders that began developing Hawaii prior, during, and after WWII, racism was indeed rampant. But over the course of the last 40 years, the
process is selective.
There is still great animosity for the descendants of the wealthy Haole that developed their own society within the heart of Honolulu. However, new arrivals are welcomed, but as my friend puts, somewhat tested. If they see you growing food in your yard, volunteering with general clean-up of the area and communicate with people in your city, ya know, act like a civilized person, you will fit in just fine. If you are loaded and just buy at nice house in Haole-ville and contribute nothing, they will treat you like dirt. My friend says the new hatred "fad" in Honolulu is to look down upon Japanese populations.
As for getting locked in a closet: This happened to my brother a year before I was born at a pre-K. Crap happens everywhere.