Need Help...Hawkeye Jokes....
- Thread starter bellzisu
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What is the difference between a Hawkeye fan and a puppy?
Eventually, the puppy will quit whining!
How many Hawkeye football players does it take to change a lightbulb?
One, but he gets three credits.
Eventually, the puppy will quit whining!
How many Hawkeye football players does it take to change a lightbulb?
One, but he gets three credits.
Why is it so windy in Ames?
Because the Hawks suck and Nebraska blows.
How do you get a Hawkeye off of your front porch?
Pay him/her for the pizza.
IfDominiqe Douglas and Anthony Bowman are driving down the road, who is driving?
The police officer.
Because the Hawks suck and Nebraska blows.
How do you get a Hawkeye off of your front porch?
Pay him/her for the pizza.
IfDominiqe Douglas and Anthony Bowman are driving down the road, who is driving?
The police officer.
An oldie but goodie...works for most squaks.
Q: What do Cyclone fans and Hawkeye fans have in common?
A: Neither one ever attended the University of Iowa.
Here are some pics for you, based off of some "motivational posters" that i made a few years back. Granted, the quality isnt the greatest, (i used ms paint), but they get the point across :wink:
And lastly...my favorite
And lastly...my favorite
Some of these jokes are much better than the "Insert Rival's Name Here" jokes I've been seeing over at the Hawkeye forums. :yes:
Where do Hawkeye fans come from?
Caves, outhouses, fields of dreams, Know Nothing Party, and army tents. They usually show up in the fall like the bees.
Well, how can we identify a Haweye fan?
Look for a person full of blarney/baloney and thinking their team is God's Gift. They rarely win the Cy Hawk series. And they usually are full of bravado when they toot about new year's Day Bowls. They wear Yellow. They wear Black. They are loud, obnoxious, obstreperous, and vile. They play their role to the hilt and are always disappointed whern they are not national champions. They buy lots of rag papers because media caters to them. They an the pivot point of the BTN battle. They have some of the greatest broadcasters and editors and announcers touting them. They are real special to themselves.
Caves, outhouses, fields of dreams, Know Nothing Party, and army tents. They usually show up in the fall like the bees.
Well, how can we identify a Haweye fan?
Look for a person full of blarney/baloney and thinking their team is God's Gift. They rarely win the Cy Hawk series. And they usually are full of bravado when they toot about new year's Day Bowls. They wear Yellow. They wear Black. They are loud, obnoxious, obstreperous, and vile. They play their role to the hilt and are always disappointed whern they are not national champions. They buy lots of rag papers because media caters to them. They an the pivot point of the BTN battle. They have some of the greatest broadcasters and editors and announcers touting them. They are real special to themselves.
An ISU student, a UNI student, & an Iowa student were all working together one summer for the DOT building a new bridge over the Mississippi. At lunch time the three of them sat down to eat. The ISU student opened his cooler and said: "Ham Sandwich again, if I have to eat ham one more time, I'm gonna jump off this bridge." The UNI student opened his cooler, saw a turkey sandwich and said: "If I have to eat turkey one more time, I'm gonna jump off this bridge too." Finally the Iowa student opened his cooler, found a PB&J sandwich and he too declared he would jump off the bridge if he had to eat one more PB&J sandwich.
The next day the three guys sat down for lunch on the bridge deck, the ISU student opened his cooler, found the ham sandwich, which pushed him over the edge and he then jumped off the bridge, falling to his death. Similarily, the UNI and Iowa students found the turkey & PB&J sandwiches respectively and both jumped to their deaths.
Later that week, the three mothers of the students were discussing the demise of their children when the ISU student's mother asked: "Why didn't he just ask for a different kind of sandwich, I would have gladly made it for him?" The UNI student's mother chimed in with the same comment.
Lastly, the Iowa student's mother said while weeping: "I just don't get it, he packed his own lunch every morning!
The next day the three guys sat down for lunch on the bridge deck, the ISU student opened his cooler, found the ham sandwich, which pushed him over the edge and he then jumped off the bridge, falling to his death. Similarily, the UNI and Iowa students found the turkey & PB&J sandwiches respectively and both jumped to their deaths.
Later that week, the three mothers of the students were discussing the demise of their children when the ISU student's mother asked: "Why didn't he just ask for a different kind of sandwich, I would have gladly made it for him?" The UNI student's mother chimed in with the same comment.
Lastly, the Iowa student's mother said while weeping: "I just don't get it, he packed his own lunch every morning!
PRESS RELEASE:
IOWA CITY, IA - The University of Iowa's Christmas pageant has been cancelled for this year due to casting problems. After an extensive search of the area, directors were unable to locate three wise men and a virgin.
IOWA CITY, IA - The University of Iowa's Christmas pageant has been cancelled for this year due to casting problems. After an extensive search of the area, directors were unable to locate three wise men and a virgin.
Did you just get despair.com stuff and change out the pictures? These are pretty funny. Rep for you.
Here are some pics for you, based off of some "motivational posters" that i made a few years back. Granted, the quality isnt the greatest, (i used ms paint), but they get the point across :wink:
And lastly...my favorite
An Iowa fan, a ISU fan and a UNI fan are leaving a party when they spot a co-ed passed out naked in the yard. Being gentlemen, the ISU fan covers the right breast with his hat, the UNI fan covers the left breast with his hat, and the Iowa fan begrudgingly covers the crotch with his hat. They proceed to call the cops.
The cop shows up, lifts up the ISU hat and writes a few notes down and puts the hat back where it was. The cop lifts up the UNI hat and writes a few notes down and puts the hat back where it was. He then lifts up the Iowa hat, writes a few notes down and gets a confused look on his face. He lifts up the Iowa hat and jots down some more notes. This happens a few more times, so the ISU fan asks the cop, "What's the matter are you some kind of pervert?"
The cop replies, "No, I'm just a little confused. Every other time I've seen an Iowa hat, there's been an a$$hole underneath it."
The cop shows up, lifts up the ISU hat and writes a few notes down and puts the hat back where it was. The cop lifts up the UNI hat and writes a few notes down and puts the hat back where it was. He then lifts up the Iowa hat, writes a few notes down and gets a confused look on his face. He lifts up the Iowa hat and jots down some more notes. This happens a few more times, so the ISU fan asks the cop, "What's the matter are you some kind of pervert?"
The cop replies, "No, I'm just a little confused. Every other time I've seen an Iowa hat, there's been an a$$hole underneath it."
edit:
This one's long and borderline inappropriate, but I still love it...
A Hawk fan, a Cyclone fan, and a Panther fan are walking home together late one night from the bars when they find a woman on the sidewalk, dead and naked. The UNI fan, for modesty's sake, puts his UNI hat over one breast, the ISU fan puts his hat over the other one, and the Iowa fan puts his between the girl's legs.
The cops come along and find the body. The detective picks up the UNI and ISU hats and examines underneath them. Then he picks up the Iowa hat and stares for a long, long time at what is underneath it. Finally, his partner says "why are you staring down there? Are you some sort of perv or something?" The detective responds, "I'm just confused, I've seen plenty of Iowa hats in my day but every time there's been an a**hole underneath!"
This one's long and borderline inappropriate, but I still love it...
A Hawk fan, a Cyclone fan, and a Panther fan are walking home together late one night from the bars when they find a woman on the sidewalk, dead and naked. The UNI fan, for modesty's sake, puts his UNI hat over one breast, the ISU fan puts his hat over the other one, and the Iowa fan puts his between the girl's legs.
The cops come along and find the body. The detective picks up the UNI and ISU hats and examines underneath them. Then he picks up the Iowa hat and stares for a long, long time at what is underneath it. Finally, his partner says "why are you staring down there? Are you some sort of perv or something?" The detective responds, "I'm just confused, I've seen plenty of Iowa hats in my day but every time there's been an a**hole underneath!"
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:wink::wink:One foggy night an Iowa fan was heading south and an ISU fan was driving
north.
While crossing a narrow bridge they hit each other head-on, mangling
both cars.
The Cyclone fan manages to climb out of his car and survey the damage.
He looks at his twisted car and says, "Man, I'm lucky to be alive".
Likewise, the Hawkeye fan gets out of his car uninjured, he too, feeling
fortunate to have survived.
The Hawkeye fan walks over to the Cyclone fan and says, "Hey, man, I
think this is a sign that we should put away our petty differences and
live as friends instead of being rivals."
The Cyclone fan thinks for a moment and says, "You know, you're
absolutely right! We should be friends. In fact, I'm going to see if
something else survived the wreck."
The Cyclone fan then pops open the trunk of his car and removes a full
undamaged bottle of Jack Daniels. He says to the Hawkeye fan, "I think
this is another sign that we should toast to our newfound friendship."
The Hawkeye fan agrees and grabs the bottle. After sucking down half of
the bottle, the Hawkeye fan hands the bottle back to the Cyclone fan and
says, "Your turn".
The Cyclone fan calmly twists the cap back on the bottle, throws the
rest of the bottle over the bridge into the river and says, "Nah, I
think I'll just wait for the cops to show up."
Its football time in Iowa. GO ISU!!
north.
While crossing a narrow bridge they hit each other head-on, mangling
both cars.
The Cyclone fan manages to climb out of his car and survey the damage.
He looks at his twisted car and says, "Man, I'm lucky to be alive".
Likewise, the Hawkeye fan gets out of his car uninjured, he too, feeling
fortunate to have survived.
The Hawkeye fan walks over to the Cyclone fan and says, "Hey, man, I
think this is a sign that we should put away our petty differences and
live as friends instead of being rivals."
The Cyclone fan thinks for a moment and says, "You know, you're
absolutely right! We should be friends. In fact, I'm going to see if
something else survived the wreck."
The Cyclone fan then pops open the trunk of his car and removes a full
undamaged bottle of Jack Daniels. He says to the Hawkeye fan, "I think
this is another sign that we should toast to our newfound friendship."
The Hawkeye fan agrees and grabs the bottle. After sucking down half of
the bottle, the Hawkeye fan hands the bottle back to the Cyclone fan and
says, "Your turn".
The Cyclone fan calmly twists the cap back on the bottle, throws the
rest of the bottle over the bridge into the river and says, "Nah, I
think I'll just wait for the cops to show up."
Its football time in Iowa. GO ISU!!
