The Most Awesome/Stupid Thing You've Ever Done

[CyForPresident]

All this talk about Golden Showers and Gyros has me wondering, what is the coolest/stupidest thing you've ever done? Preferably when you where in college and when you were drunk. I really want to hear some hilarious stuff, so if it's a "friends" story, that's alright.

I'll start, last semester we were having a party at our house. As the night wore on, I started doing some drunk dancing. I got the great idea of doing the robot, but with a twist. As I did the robot, I would pour beer over my head and short circuit. Well, the short circuit idea was pure gold and I was the life of the party. As I was enjoying my glory, I joined a buddy leaning against the back of the couch who was laughing hysterically at me. I told him "I'd see him on the flip side" and proceeded to do a back flip off the couch cushions. Now, I'm not a small man so this was quite a feat and I needed all necessary momentum to make the full flip. In my need for power, I forgot to aim for the couch cushions and ended up missing totally. I landed on my neck with the full momentum of my body. That wasn't the worst part, my neck landed on a beer can. With help from my friends, who are very concerned at this point, I was able to sit up straight. Struggling to regain my balance/consciousness, someone offered me a flask pull of Johnny Walker. Needing to re-prove my awesomeness after the failed flip, I did a huge pull and then proceed to stumble outside and puke my guts out. For the next week, I was unable to fully turn my head. I was lucky I didn't break my neck. That said, It was still a great night.

Now, what do ya' got?

 

[CYVADER]

seriously, if i told half of them, i'd probably be in jail tomorrow.

 

[CyForPresident]

seriously, if i told half of them, i'd probably be in jail tomorrow.

Pick the best and tell us, I'm bored.

 

[CYVADER]

Pick the best and tell us, I'm bored.

dude, every aspect of both the most awesome and stupid things break a lot of laws, and i'm not just talking about being drunk in public.

 

[CyForPresident]

dude, every aspect of both the most awesome and stupid things break a lot of laws, and i'm not just talking about being drunk in public.

Statute of limitations - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia:yes:

Honestly, I understand. I'm the same way, most of the stuff I've done is illegal, but that's why it can be a "friends" story. Or just pick something that's not illegal.

 

[Flag Guy]

Ok far too lazy to type this all up... fortuantly the Facebook group for the story still exsists :biggrin:

This story is not about me, and was not written by me, but close enough I'm not changing it.

"Screw the Drunk Bus, Lets ride the Drunk Train!"

Ok maybe you have heard the story and maybe you havn't.. but anyway a fellow Iowa Stater was at a party one night somewhere behind Chi Omega, when he decides to go back to his lovely room at Helser. Needless to say, he never made it. He head straight north of where he was at and ended up in a ditch full of tall weeds and a horse barn nearby. As he got out of the ditch, he found a train sitting on its tracks. Some how the poor drunken man new that if he crossed the tracks he was going to find Helser. As he crawled on top of the coupling links the train started to move. In his drunken state the train got to moving pretty fast before he realized he needed to get off. If you have ever been out by Freddy court and seen how fast this train moves you will understand why he couldn't jump. As smart as a drunken guy gets he decided it was a good idea to tighten the brakes. No... not the brakes to the whole train but to the coal car he was on. After the carts brakes turned red hot and didn't even begin to slow the train, he decided to crawl over the cart and tighten some more. Bad idea! Once in the coal cart, he could not get down. The man was in a tee-shirt with the train moving on one of the coldest nights I think we had all year. Pretty soon another train blew by in the other direction blowing dust all over the poor fella. After it dawned on him that this was bad and he was probably to Chicago by now, he decided to dial our favorite 3 digit number. Drunkman - Hi.. I am stuck on a train. 911 - Um.. are you drunk? Drunkman also underage - Umm..no? It ended up he was actually heading west. By tracking his cell phone they discovered he was close to Marshalltown, which is 40 miles from Ames. The deputy that picked him up, quickly smelled the alcohol on him, but was nice and said if he blew under the limit .08 that he would let him go. Well he obviously wasn't that lucky because not only did he blow .09 and get public intox, but the train also charged him from private property truspassing. When I went to get him from jail the next morning, he was still covered in coal dust and he lost his favorite hat on the ride. Not to mention my other passanger puked in my truck. So next time people wanna ride the drunk bus, just remember that there is a drunk train out there -(included with big fines).

 

[Together2813]

Okay well....here I go.

About 7 years ago I went to a party where I started talking to this girl. Very nice, cute girl that started flirting with me. Started holding my arm and even kissed a few times.

Well I went and got a beer and when I came back and saw here I gave her a little pench on the butt to tell her I was back. All of a sudden she just flipped and yelled "Don't grab my @ss!" And out of no where, BOOM! Hit by a fist.

I had a nice bloody nose and a bit dazed. Come to find out this girl had a boyfriend, and the boyfriend was BIG! My friends grabbed me and said it was time to leave. I was fine with that since I heard the girl calling me names and throwing crap at me while I was standing up. I just told me friends to lead me to the bathroom first.

That is where I got my revenge. I peed in her shampoo and conditioner....and maybe her aluffa. Still might be kind of proud about that!

So that might not be the most exciting story ever, but I thought it was pretty funny. That or when I climbed a pine tree in high school during our "Health Class" (we had a health walk) and started throwing pine cones at Mrs. Harrison.

 

[clones_jer]

this is pretty tame: we were tailgating in the grass lot after a late game and 4 of us decided to walk back to our place on Stanton ... it was the drunk leading the drunk and no one realized where we were headed until we showed up at the "new Hy-vee" parking lot (that's east hy-vee to you young'ns). At that point everybody kind of instantly sobered up as we all geared up for the long walk home ... again.

oh, and I walked in the wrong house on Ragbrai. Long story short, had to take a whiz - walked in the a house in the early AM hours and the bathroom wasn't where it was the night before. It's a pretty aweful feeling, even when you're drunk. The owner didn't see the humor in it either.

 

[ripvdub]

All I'll say is that it includes a bad of human poo, a microwave and 33 minutes. Sorry 5th floor Wallace Hall.

man do I feel better!

 

[Together2813]

All I'll say is that it includes a bad of human poo, a microwave and 33 minutes. Sorry 5th floor Wallace Hall.

man do I feel better!

haha that is awesome! "Sorry 5th floor Wallace Hall. Man do I feel better!"

 

[Schfinkter]

this single handly might be the craziest story i've ever heard..

Ok far too lazy to type this all up... fortuantly the Facebook group for the story still exsists :biggrin:

This story is not about me, and was not written by me, but close enough I'm not changing it.

 

[CyForPresident]

All I'll say is that it includes a bad of human poo, a microwave and 33 minutes. Sorry 5th floor Wallace Hall.

man do I feel better!

:biglaugh::biglaugh::biglaugh:

I've done something similar minus the microwave. It involved a basement stairway and me trying to mess with 3 people down there. I turned the light off to take a dump on the steps, however, they found the light switch before I was done and they saw a turd during mid-crap. Earlier that night people were taking dumps off the roof onto people below. I swear that wasn't my idea.

 

[SeattleClone]

Ok far too lazy to type this all up... fortuantly the Facebook group for the story still exsists :biggrin:

This story is not about me, and was not written by me, but close enough I'm not changing it.

That one seems kind of familiar...

http://www.cyclonefanatic.com/forum/off-topic/23313-dumbest-thing-youve-done-while-drunk.html

 

[herbicide]

Spring break in Mexico. Started drinking before I knew where we were staying. Damn near got stranded in Rocky Point Mexico.

Met a girl, and lost all friends that night. Went home with her. The next morning and two flat tires on her car later (that is another story), still no friends. Oh, this was in the land before cell phones (at least for me).

Finally found friends at the bar we started out at, its where I figured they would look for me. They spent the day before scouring the police station, hospitals, morgue, etc.

 

[Flag Guy]

Yeah I was pretty sure this thread topic has already come up...


And if it has I definitely posted that story. By far the best drunk story I've got

 

[Cyclonepride]

Cheated on my high school girlfriend with two girls. They called her and told her the story the next morning. We were back together one week later. That's when I knew I had a future in sales.

 

[IcSyU]

Cheated on my high school girlfriend with two girls. They called her and told her the story the next morning. We were back together one week later. That's when I knew I had a future in sales.

:wideeyed::biglaugh:

 

[nhclone]

Stupidest thing: Got in a fight and got hit with a golf club. Not as bad as it sounds he barely caught. I did get a few stitches above my eye. Also thought I got back at the guy who hit me that night but apparently I tackled and was taking it out on another guys face. That's a long story.

Most awkward: Got plowed one night and went back to Helser. Started walking around the hallways in my boxer-briefs. Eventually found a girl that was awake in her room and stopped by to talk. Apparently she didn't want to talk because I walked away to the sound of, "Who the hell walks around in their underwear at 3 in the morning? Go to bed you stupid drunk!" Or something very close to that.

 

[Cyano]

Outside of our local Hy-Vee there was plastic newspaper stand that held the area's Tradepost/autotrader fliers. It was white with bright red letters that said "Free." During high school my friends and I decided we would take it late one night, with the excuse that it said it was "Free." Late one night we borrowed a friend's family mini-van. We pulled up to the front doors of Hy-Vee when no one was outside or coming out the doors about 2 or 3 am, slide open the side door of the mini van, jumped out and grabbed the 4ft tall stand. It surprised us because the bottom of the stand was filled with rocks to keep it from being knocked over. We still managed to get it in the van and drove off.

One of the guys took it with him to Iowa State and kept it in his door room/apts all through school.

 

[LindenCy]

When I was in college three guys took a leak (hopefully separately) into a beer bottle, capped it and chilled it. They gave it to a guy who proceeded to drink it, throw up whole ramen noodles and say "That's not ****; I tasted **** before."