Who would win a deathmatch between Dwight Shrute and a bobcat?

Who wins a deathmatch between Dwight Shrute and a bobcat

  • Dwight Shrute

  • Bobcat


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GoCy

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I've got another good one. How many adult men would it take to kill one grizzly bear in hand to hand combat to the death?
Is one of the men Dwight Schrute? Makes a difference.
 
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coolerifyoudid

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I think adrenaline and size would enable Dwight to prevail over the angry sack of knives, but he's gonna be bleeding from many places before the fight's over.
 

coolerifyoudid

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I've got another good one. How many adult men would it take to kill one grizzly bear in hand to hand combat to the death?
Without weapons of any kind? 50 maybe. You'd have to wear it down with numbers in order to win.

You could only have maybe 8-10 that could try to inflict damage at one time due to space. A normal person wouldn't be able to do much damage to a grizzly with a punch or a kick and a grizzly would clean out 2-3 people at a time with a claw swipe or a bite. Its size alone would render several people immobile.
 
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alenz95

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Without weapons of any kind? 50 maybe. You'd have to wear it down with numbers in order to win.

You could only have maybe 8-10 that could try to inflict damage at one time due to space. A normal person wouldn't be able to do much damage to a grizzly with a punch or a kick and a grizzly would clean out 2-3 people at a time with a claw swipe or a bite. Its size alone would render several people immobile.

That's kind of where I always end up on this one. The bear would literally be delivering death blows left and right, but how would the men actually kill the bear? Could the men even strangle it?
 

Malty Flannel

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Sep 19, 2019
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Dwight would need to end the match quickly. The bobcat wouldn't be big enough to deliver a single death blow, but bleeding would quickly become an issue from a couple good puncture wounds. If the bobcat got a bite in on his calf early and rendered him immobile, he'd be in real trouble
 
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OscarBerkshire

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Weight class difference, especially if the human is clothed. I’ve gone up against enough house cats in my day I think I could take one. Not sure how I would finish the job with no weapons and in a padded box tho. Would be hard to strangle it
 

Cyinthenorth

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My male house cat tore me up pretty good once when he was stressed out after a move. He wasn't declawed or anything, and he's pretty jacked for a cat. I probably could've kicked his ass if I wanted to, but since he was a family member I didn't want to hurt him too bad. Grabbed him by the scruff once I could get a good handle on him and tossed him in the backyard to cool off. He was fine after a couple days out there, and my wounds healed.

For a size comparison to a bobcat, I'd say he's probably as big as a small bobcat. 23 lbs.
 
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exCyDing

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Nov 29, 2017
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I've got another good one. How many adult men would it take to kill one grizzly bear in hand to hand combat to the death?
Without weapons of any kind? 50 maybe. You'd have to wear it down with numbers in order to win.

You could only have maybe 8-10 that could try to inflict damage at one time due to space. A normal person wouldn't be able to do much damage to a grizzly with a punch or a kick and a grizzly would clean out 2-3 people at a time with a claw swipe or a bite. Its size alone would render several people immobile.
I really can't tell you how much I enjoy this exchange as kind of an analogy for the Russian Army's main strategy. Just throw wave after wave of humanity at it until it gets tired of killing.
 

EvilBetty

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Sep 7, 2012
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My male house cat tore me up pretty good once when he was stressed out after a move. He wasn't declawed or anything, and he's pretty jacked for a cat. I probably could've kicked his ass if I wanted to, but since he was a family member I didn't want to hurt him too bad. Grabbed him by the scruff once I could get a good handle on him and tossed him in the backyard to cool off. He was fine after a couple days out there, and my wounds healed.

For a size comparison to a bobcat, I'd say he's probably as big as a small bobcat. 23 lbs.
with that experience in mind, how do you think you would fair against a cat that weighed over twice that. I think you are likely the resident expert here based on your story.
 

exCyDing

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Nov 29, 2017
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My male house cat tore me up pretty good once when he was stressed out after a move. He wasn't declawed or anything, and he's pretty jacked for a cat. I probably could've kicked his ass if I wanted to, but since he was a family member I didn't want to hurt him too bad. Grabbed him by the scruff once I could get a good handle on him and tossed him in the backyard to cool off. He was fine after a couple days out there, and my wounds healed.

For a size comparison to a bobcat, I'd say he's probably as big as a small bobcat. 23 lbs.
Shortly after my wife and I moved in together, our cats took a bit to get adjusted to each other and got into it with each other pretty bad one night. We both tried to separate them and it was a bloodbath.
  • Me: a couple of deep scratches on my arm courtesy of her cat. I went to the Dr when the red lines started to streak up my arm. Antibiotics.
  • Her: just one good gash on her finger courtesy of a bite from my cat. Had to go to the Dr when it suddenly got really inflamed a couple days later and have a bit of tooth removed from the wound.
  • My cat: had to get one of his fangs filed down a bit and go on antibiotics for an infected bite on the side of his head.
  • Her cat: fine. That little ******'s almost 20 now and still vicious when he's pissed.
 

BCClone

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Not exactly sure.
Without weapons of any kind? 50 maybe. You'd have to wear it down with numbers in order to win.

You could only have maybe 8-10 that could try to inflict damage at one time due to space. A normal person wouldn't be able to do much damage to a grizzly with a punch or a kick and a grizzly would clean out 2-3 people at a time with a claw swipe or a bite. Its size alone would render several people immobile.
Not if you pushed a few of the dumber ones into the grizzly and sacrificed them while the rest of you want bat sheet crazy on it. Hopefully a few medium sized rocks to give it a good whack while it's eating the first guy. Sharpen a couple sticks for spears. Gotta be crafty. Make sure one of the push ins is a little hefty so he has a little more to eat.
 

madguy30

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That's kind of where I always end up on this one. The bear would literally be delivering death blows left and right, but how would the men actually kill the bear? Could the men even strangle it?

Do they do rock, paper, scissors to figure out who gets which section of the throat?