It might be something too succinct and simple which doesn't keep certain people in certain positions squabbling enough.
Retirement Targets
- Thread starter yowza
- Start date
It might be something too succinct and simple which doesn't keep certain people in certain positions squabbling enough.
The will………this may tell you more than you want to know at the time. I’ve seen some crazy stuff in wills telling kids who mom and dads favorite is/was.
Consider yourself lucky that it's their idea.
I wonder how things like EIC and child tax credits, etc are figured. They have means testing so really are a form of welfare. They come off taxes so they probably aren’t included in govt numbers.
My dad and step mom went over there's with us (me, brother and 3 step brothers) last year and they hopefully have 30+ years left. It was weird but glad they got us all up to speed on the plan.
My mother sold her house and gave up her car all by herself in the last 5 years. She is now in assisted living at 100 years 8 months old. She is always bored. Me and my siblings are blessed.
Agreed. Wife's grandfather has dementia and can't take care of himself. Grandmother is in denial about not being able to care for themselves. My wife's dad (son of said grandparents) doesn't want to have the hard conversation that they need to move to a care facility of some sort that can keep an eye on them and provide cooking, cleaning, and transportation services for them. They are in their mid-80s and are fading fast but nobody has the cojones to tell them that they are eventually going to die inside their own home or kill somebody else in the process since they are still driving. Their house is full of junk from the last 40 years and is going to be hell to clear out. Best part is that my in-laws just moved to Brazil for 3 years so I am going to most likely get stuck with dealing with it all as we live the closest. Sorry for the rant.
Wow this sounds like my mother. My mother is 89, she drove her whole life and even when she was retired in her late 70's, she would drive 20k+ miles a year. About 4 years ago she told me that for other peoples safety, it was time to hang up the keys. I was so happy she made that decision on her own because we have other family members that we forced the keys from them.
My mother is also constantly complaining about being bored. At her age, all of her friends are dead and she really doesn't have anything to talk about. So every time I talk to her, it's basically the same story over and over.
We should be OK on those lines. I've done very well so don't need anything. Sister is fine, but could use any money more than I could, hell she still has a kid at home and one in college. If they gave it all to her based on that, it wouldn't bother me really, it would probably bother her more lol. I suppose if they flipped out and tried to leave it all to some TV preacher con artist or something, that would be a problem...
We might have to do a draft on certain memory type things (e.g. I want my grandma's little glass nightstand lamp, which I remember from when I was little). But even that we won't have bad feelings.
Frankly, my only "selfish want" out of it all is for her to get the house and move there. She'd be closer to visit and it would keep the place in the family.
I am 100% sure that having watched my dad's mom go thru Alzheimers, and now seeing his older sister transition from home to assisted living has helped. They know they want my aunt to be well cared-for and safe, and it isn't a stretch to picture themselves in the same situation. So they are taking steps while they can.
And, yeah, VERY lucky with who my folks are. They are boring in a good way, basic Iowa born and bred farm kids. Couldn't have picked anyone better.
A bit of a sideteack topic but this is a wise move. I always assumed my folks would want to be buried but my dad recently mentioned the VA (he's a vet) will pay for a cremation (I think?).
Said he'd rather us have the $.
My brother and I will be getting a farm we grew up on but living here is not appealing to either of us so the decision will have to made. Keep it to visit? Rent it out? Air bnb? How do you maintain it?
Can I handle it emotionally to sell it?
I'm not looking forward to that at all.
Dads are so practical. Cracks me up. Mine always said to throw him in a cheap pine box and be done with it. He wanted ZERO flowers on his casket because they are waste of money. He got neither of those things because my mom wasnt having it.
My mom however near the end mentioned she wanted to be cremated, but I think it was out of frustration with her current situation, never in my life did she say that before, she had been very particular about how she wanted things. So we went with a burial next to my dad in a casket that represented her personality. Hopefully we did the right thing.
People are very different on how they see it. I dont particularly care, I just want to be next to my wife, if that means cremation and then bury the ashes next to her so be it.
I don't want to buried. Don't want a funeral.
Take some cash, fly to Newport Beach, rent a Duffy, and spread me in the Pacific.
Then let me exist only in memory. Do not have a headstone they feel obligated to look at.
My wife will want to be buried where we live, I want no trace of me in that town since I hate it. So I want to be cremated and spread at the farm I grew up on (I own it now) but I have a feeling that my wife will override and damn me to hell in this town forever.
Lets just hope your soul isnt tied to where you die, I dont want to roam where I live either.
I have warned anyone that will listen that I do NOT want to be buried in Illinois.
I will haunt their ass for all of eternity if I'm buried anywhere but I will figure out how to move stuff from the grave if I'm buried here.
For my whole life, I'm totally out of touch on the buried thing.
My sister goes and puts flowers on my dads grave a few times a year. Her and my mom make a big deal about it. I think I've visited his grave site one time since he died 20+ years ago, even though I've driven right past it 50+ times. I fake caring about it in front of my mother, because I know she would feel bad if she knew that I won't be visiting her grave either. I don't get anything out of the experience and they're dead so they don't either
My wife also hates that I'm this way. She asks me where I want to be buried and I tell her that I'll be dead so I don't care what she does with me.
I often think about the people that have died in my life, but I feel like visiting the cemetery does zero for me or them. I know this is weird for most people and I'm the exception.
My sister goes and puts flowers on my dads grave a few times a year. Her and my mom make a big deal about it. I think I've visited his grave site one time since he died 20+ years ago, even though I've driven right past it 50+ times. I fake caring about it in front of my mother, because I know she would feel bad if she knew that I won't be visiting her grave either. I don't get anything out of the experience and they're dead so they don't either
My wife also hates that I'm this way. She asks me where I want to be buried and I tell her that I'll be dead so I don't care what she does with me.
I often think about the people that have died in my life, but I feel like visiting the cemetery does zero for me or them. I know this is weird for most people and I'm the exception.
