8 year-old assaulted on bus. Advice plz.

[cowgirl836]

In most districts, Super reports up to the Board. Board members generally like to be re-elected so if they directly hear their employee is letting little kid's arms get broken on busses and teen girls get concussions from a repeat offender because someone didn't want to deal with figuing out an alt transportation or bring in social services - that's an easy way to lose voters across the spectrum - not to mention tremendous legal risk. I would go that route before threatening Super with legal action. Board should be motivated to see this handled because there's no nice way to spin that come election time.

May have to see how prosecution of the other case plays out but still think it's good to get with those parents and see what options that may open up without exposing your son to a lot of ****.

 

[coolerifyoudid]

It might come to this. It is a problem for us tho. My wife is the nutrition coordinator and cooks all the meals and prepares all the snacks. She's also 2nd in command at the daycare, so its pretty important that she is there at dropoff and pick up times. It's a "city affiliated" daycare so it's pretty big.

This kid happens to ride the very same bus that is dedicated to those daycare kids that are school age because he lives a block or 2 away. I will definitely be talking to the school about getting this situation changed, even if I have to go to the board and make a big deal out of it.

I work in Ag so I'm not even around town during school hours. I'm based 30 miles away and I'm also all over the place with my hours and location on a given day during school hours. (Go Cyclones )

It's good that your son seems to be taking things in stride. I agree with @FriendlySpartan that keeping him removed from the proceedings is the best move if you can manage to handle things on a parental level.

However, I hate to add to a bad situation, but I'd be concerned about the proximity of this kid to your house/kid as this moves along. 16 years olds are notoriously fearless about their actions, and that one seems to be on the high end of disregard for others.

Again, I don't mean to add to your worry, but retaliation doesn't seem like it's out of this kid's wheelhouse. I don't pretend to understand the legal system, but would a restraining order be applicable in a situation like this? I feel like they aren't generally applied unless there are multiple instances, but, given the severity of the injury, I'm not sure if the safety of a child can be considered.

 

[Chitowncy]

It's good that your son seems to be taking things in stride. I agree with @FriendlySpartan that keeping him removed from the proceedings is the best move if you can manage to handle things on a parental level.

However, I hate to add to a bad situation, but I'd be concerned about the proximity of this kid to your house/kid as this moves along. 16 years olds are notoriously fearless about their actions, and that one seems to be on the high end of disregard for others.

Again, I don't mean to add to your worry, but retaliation doesn't seem like it's out of this kid's wheelhouse. I don't pretend to understand the legal system, but would a restraining order be applicable in a situation like this? I feel like they aren't generally applied unless there are multiple instances, but, given the severity of the injury, I'm not sure if the safety of a child can be considered.

Retaliation is also an important consideration. Sure, the legal system may be able to give you a measure of damages, but it will also keep this event front and center in your lives for a quite a while and it will probably take a long time to wind through the legal system. If the 16 y/o is not deterred by the legal system, it may also make things worse for your son and others. I would really want to talk to this kids' parents and would probably demand to do so to feel them out. You've probably done that, but there are many considerations to weigh before charging ahead with civil suits.

I think hiring your own attorney right now would be the best immediate step you can take so you can consider all options and alternatives with him or her. You may desire to handle this situation as privately as possible given all the possible ramifications to various third parties (the school, your wife, other witnesses) of full on litigation. I just feel for your son. Glad he's a tough / resilient kid and if it was my kid I'd try to focus on that and not dwell on this event when dealing with him (I'd probably not talk about the event with my child again), but of course always keep an eye out and be doing other things outside of his knowledge working with these third parties to advocate for my kid in a respectful manner. That's more parental advice than anything, but those are my two cents.

 

[BCClone]

How does a kid get on the bus with his arm visibly intact and off the bus with his arm visibly broken? Seems to me the bus driver is liable for neglect. In other words, as many others here have pointed out, there may be a clear case for a civil suit if you want to pursue it. Also, make sure everyone knows that the county attorney refused to prosecute with the result of another child being assaulted. Handy info when s/he comes up for re-election.

The driver should have reported it if they did not. I am not going to defend this bus driver but will defend the general group here

The bus situation has changed dramatically since last century. Bus drivers can only tell kids to stop and hope they do, then report. My day if you screwed around, the bus driver stopped, came and got you and put you in the seat right behind him. Now that is a lawsuit if they do what they should do. After that, the phone rang at the kids house and that kids dad doled out the tough punishment. Kid usually came on the bus the next day and apologized to the driver.

Now, the driver or teacher gets a call before they can even get ready to make the call and the parent blames everyone but their kid and threatens lawsuits, open enrolling (which is not really punishment for the district but a reward) and chews out any adult they can think of.

This is why districts struggle with drivers, they get accused of a thousand things but can’t even break up fights.

 

[BCClone]

In most districts, Super reports up to the Board. Board members generally like to be re-elected so if they directly hear their employee is letting little kid's arms get broken on busses and teen girls get concussions from a repeat offender because someone didn't want to deal with figuing out an alt transportation or bring in social services - that's an easy way to lose voters across the spectrum - not to mention tremendous legal risk. I would go that route before threatening Super with legal action. Board should be motivated to see this handled because there's no nice way to spin that come election time.

May have to see how prosecution of the other case plays out but still think it's good to get with those parents and see what options that may open up without exposing your son to a lot of ****.

Want to get re-elected? Rarely will you see a contested race in my area. Generally the super has to go beg people to run and agrees to do the work to get them on the ballot.

 

[RezClone]

Want to get re-elected? Rarely will you see a contested race in my area. Generally the super has to go beg people to run and agrees to do the work to get them on the ballot.

Yeah, elections are very *rarely* contested here. That's almost certainly part of the problem more generally, as im sure it is with most small towns.

Fortunately, I can say 2 of the school board members are great choices and about as decent and caring people as you could find. I know that for a fact. But yeah all of them run virtually unopposed I'm sure.

 

[cowgirl836]

Want to get re-elected? Rarely will you see a contested race in my area. Generally the super has to go beg people to run and agrees to do the work to get them on the ballot.

Depends on the district. Especially in many parts of Iowa - and he mentions a city so I imagine OP fits here - those can be pretty hotly contested.

 

[BCClone]

Yeah elections are really very contested here. That's almost certainly part of the problem more generally, as im sure it is most small towns.

Fortunately, I can say 2 or the 5 board members are great choices and about as decent and caring people as you could find. I know that for a fact.

Yeah, not knocking on them, many do have the kids best interest at heart. In smaller schools the boards generally take direction from the superintendent. Easiest to go direct to them and then follow up with the board.

 

[ghyland7]

I am a lawyer, but not your lawyer. I don’t typically handle these types of issues (I am a business/estate/healthcare lawyer), but I know plenty of people who do litigation.

You should talk to a lawyer if you haven’t already. I do not mean a state prosecutor; you want to talk to an attorney who represents you personally.

It’s hard to say what can/could happen. At a bare minimum you may have claim for the medical costs associated with your child’s care for the injuries. As for other types of damages, it’s hard to say without knowing every detail.

A few things to point out, and these really are just general points about law, not really specific to your situation:

Litigation is extremely expensive. Often, plaintiff-side work can be done on contingency (which typically means the attorney will get 1/3 of whatever is won).

Civil lawsuits are a different standard than criminal proceedings; even if the state isn’t able to successfully get a criminal proceeding against the other kid, they could still be civilly liable. Think of the OJ stuff; he was not guilty criminally, but civilly liable and had to pay tons of money to the family.

Feel free to pm me and I can give you some referrals to attorneys who handle these issues.

 

[RezClone]

Depends on the district. Especially in many parts of Iowa - and he mentions a city so I imagine OP fits here - those can be pretty hotly contested.

Sorry, typo changed RARELY to really lol. I fixed it, I live in a small town. Not 'small small', by iowa standards. But its safe to say the district draws from a total population of less than 4,000, for sure. And we don't share our district with any other towns, just the surrounding countryside.

So elections are never really contested much, and probably less so than other similarly-sized towns for various specific reasons.

BUT I'm actually fairly optimistic I can get traction with the board if/when I reach out to them tho.

 

[ImJustKCClone]

In our district there are separate busses for ages at some schools but at others some kids have to take a bus to the high school or middle school and then continue on to their elementary. My daughter took a bus in elementary with high schoolers. Luckily there were high schoolers who very clearly looked out for the little ones. In addition there was a strict policy of elementary sitting only in the front few seats with no high schoolers allowed.

Back in the stone age when I took a stagecoach to school, I had to ride with all ages on our rural bus route to get home. No cameras, so you better watch your mouth...

EDIT: to be clear I am not at all suggesting that little @RezClone said or did anything - just how we had to look at our behavior riding that bus.

You rode a stagecoach? We had to lasso our own raptors...

 

[1SEIACLONE]

What do you want to see happen here? I would say that you should have been talking to the school board members last spring, and really the 2nd claim against the boy really has nothing to do with what he did to your son.
You can sue the boy and his family, the bus driver and the school, its going to be a long and costly battle that will take years, but outside of that, I am not sure that there is a whole lot you can do. No fault of yours but there is no tape of the incident, I am sure the bus driver is not going to go along with the first story as it affects her employment with the district.

Contact the school board members, make sure they know that this kid has 2 incidents against him, remember that legally since no charges was actually pressed in yours, he only has legal case against him. I would also be telling the principle, the Supt and the person in charge of busing, that you do not want this kid on the same bus as your son, and its up to school to make that happen, and if they cannot do that at least put another adult on the bus for the safety of all the students.

In schools the squeaky wheel gets the grease, if you want something done, you have to be that squeaky wheel. Good luck.

 

[ScottyP]

Sorry, typo changed RARELY to really lol. I fixed it, I live in a small town. Not 'small small', by iowa standards. But its safe to say the district draws from a total population of less than 4,000, for sure. And we don't share our district with any other towns, just the surrounding countryside.

So elections are never really contested much, and probably less so than other similarly-sized towns for various specific reasons.

BUT I'm actually fairly optimistic I can get traction with the board if/when I reach out to them tho.

Just my opinion but when discussing this with the school board and others, come at it with the perspective of wanting to protect other kids from future issues rather than some sort of justice for your own son.

 

[RezClone]

Just my opinion but when discussing this with the school board and others, come at it with the perspective of wanting to protect other kids from future issues rather than some sort of justice for your own son.

I agree. I'm generally a pretty community minded guy as it is. I'm very involved with his entire grade in terms of extra curricular and community program stuff.

I appreciate it and im right there with you. I'd like to think I'm pretty savvy with that sort of messaging. Although obviously, I'm personally beyond pissed.

 

[madguy30]

The driver should have reported it if they did not. I am not going to defend this bus driver but will defend the general group here

The bus situation has changed dramatically since last century. Bus drivers can only tell kids to stop and hope they do, then report. My day if you screwed around, the bus driver stopped, came and got you and put you in the seat right behind him. Now that is a lawsuit if they do what they should do. After that, the phone rang at the kids house and that kids dad doled out the tough punishment. Kid usually came on the bus the next day and apologized to the driver.

Now, the driver or teacher gets a call before they can even get ready to make the call and the parent blames everyone but their kid and threatens lawsuits, open enrolling (which is not really punishment for the district but a reward) and chews out any adult they can think of.

This is why districts struggle with drivers, they get accused of a thousand things but can’t even break up fights.

Or an email to the principal, and the principal is then left to find a way to talk to the employee in a way that's proactive in what to do next time while at the same time blaming them for the incident to happen.

There's usually a 'relationship building' or 'let them have their voice' sort of thing in there for good measure, even though the assaulter/aggressor has plenty of years' long relationships with lots of teachers and it doesn't affect their behavior since they know there's no ceiling for it.

We're at peak 'blame the teachers (in this case driver)' era and in their defense, leadership has their hands tied because the 'take our ball and go home' mentality forces their hand and loses the enrollment/funding.

And in my experience @cowgirl836 the board takes the parents' and kids' side as well to save face/PR so going to them goes nowhere.

I'm not bitter.

 

[BooneCy]

I know a lawyer who sues schools for a living for issues similar to this. It is a different situation than a normal injury or assault lawsuit. The nuances of Education Law have their own channels, as most specific areas.

I am sorry you are not getting the outcome you want. I am glad that your son seems to have recovered from his injury and has no concerns going to school this year.

 

[carvers4math]

One thing I strongly suggest is having your son talk to a counselor of some kind, whether a private one or the school one if they have one for elementary grades. You are probably correct that he is ok, but kids are pretty good at hiding feelings as well. Just make sure he has recovered mentally and emotionally.

I may have missed it skimming the thread, but is there anything special about the perp? We had a kid that was a good athlete at least for our school, but never great really. Making it to state wrestling but never hit the podium, which when you think about all the classes and weights, a lot of kids make it to state wrestling. He perversely assaulted a kid in PE class where there were no cameras. Nothing happened to him but when the kid knocked him out, it was right in front of a camera. Original victim finished high school at alternative school. Any marginal athletic ability means a kid can get away with anything here.

 

[CYdTracked]

Sorry that you are going through a rough time with this situation, that really sucks that it has been handled the way it has. Praying I never have to go through something like that. I would say if this happened to my kid don't stop pushing the issue until you get a resolution to your satisfaction. The more you keep pressing it with the school and all involved and not let it get swept under the rug the better chance you have that it finally gets addressed by someone hopefully.

I hate it when other parent's will not accept responsibility for something their kid did and even try to turn their kid into the victim for something they did. It's terrible parenting and doesn't teach your kid anything other than they will continue to keep pushing the limits on what they can get away with as long as mom and dad don't hold them accountable. I guarantee if I had broke another kid's arm intentionally my dad would have whooped my ass and I would have had severe punishment as a consequence too that would have included an apology and whatever other actions to make the situation right. See it too many times these days that some parents don't think their kids can do anything wrong and start blaming everyone but themselves and their kids for it. Just reading the OP's story pisses me off as it paints a picture of an entitled kid that has parent's that don't want to hold them accountable for hurting another student and is trying to turn their kid into the victim instead.

 

[ForbinsAscynt]

I don’t have anything to add that hasn’t been covered but if all else fails I hope you get your moment like this father of a deaf child did.

 

[BCClone]

One thing I strongly suggest is having your son talk to a counselor of some kind, whether a private one or the school one if they have one for elementary grades. You are probably correct that he is ok, but kids are pretty good at hiding feelings as well. Just make sure he has recovered mentally and emotionally.

I may have missed it skimming the thread, but is there anything special about the perp? We had a kid that was a good athlete at least for our school, but never great really. Making it to state wrestling but never hit the podium, which when you think about all the classes and weights, a lot of kids make it to state wrestling. He perversely assaulted a kid in PE class where there were no cameras. Nothing happened to him but when the kid knocked him out, it was right in front of a camera. Original victim finished high school at alternative school. Any marginal athletic ability means a kid can get away with anything here.

The kid is 16 and rides the bus……. Generally those are not your gifted kids in any area. They are usually the unpopular HS kids.