Friday OT - Am I the A-Hole?

[WooBadger18]

I'm going to jump in on this a bit. 30 years ago my sisters & I bought our retired father his first PC for Christmas. We (and our spouses) set it up for him, including splitting his phone line so that the computer would go in the room he chose and still have a modem. It was a HUGE struggle trying to teach him how to boot it up (fortunately we were past the stage of boot disks), how set up and open email and browsers and other things. Keep in mind that this man was literally a rocket scientist...an AE that worked at the Cape during the Apollo missions. I thought he was just being stubborn (he was 70, the same age I am now).

Now, I'm not so sure. I spent my career working with a computer on my desk...started with decwriters and graduated to keypunch, to PCs. Now, I find it tough to figure out new things. I'm very grateful for the help I received on this site when ISU switched to e-tickets (I printed them out at first), and finally to forced scanning. I'm really good with tickemaster now. But then I get hit with AXS, or with Eventbrite, and I'm back at square one.

Point is, it's not always refusing to learn. Sometimes my brain just doesn't wrap itself around things like it used to, and sometimes I forget from one game to the next how to work an app. Patience, padawan - at some point you may be lucky enough to get old too.

Also, in this case I’m not even sure it’s an “old people can’t use technology” thing.

It looks like they know how to change their mailing address, they are just convinced that people won’t deliver packages/mail to that address.

 

[Al_4_State]

You should send this to Murph and Andy for their Who's the A-hole segment!

I'd love to. How do you do it?

 

[jcyclonee]

You are the A-hole but not because of this.

Your concerns are valid and you are truly thinking this through. I'd encourage your wife to let the packages be delivered directly to their home. Be prepared to go back to business-as-usual if something goes wrong.

This is tough. What they are doing is silly. That being said, changing your behavior seems to begin to get tough somewhere in that 70-80 age range. There are exceptions. My FIL is 83 and can still do it to a degree but he's a bit of an exception. Also, I hate that he still has a terrific head of hair.

 

[BoxsterCy]

Thread needs a poll!

 

[jcyclonee]

Just post your inlaw's address here and we'll all order something to be delivered there. Come on, it'll be fun!

I'll totally porch pirate.

 

[Al_4_State]

You are the A-hole but not because of this.

Your concerns are valid and you are truly thinking this through. I'd encourage your wife to let the packages be delivered directly to their home. Be prepared to go back to business-as-usual if something goes wrong.

This is tough. What they are doing is silly. That being said, changing your behavior seems to begin to get tough somewhere in that 70-80 age range. There are exceptions. My FIL is 83 and can still do it to a degree but he's a bit of an exception. Also, I hate that he still has a terrific head of hair.

So why am I the A-hole?

I mean, I've definitely been one more than I'd like to admit.

 

[ImJustKCClone]

im just jaded.

my boss at works absolutely refuses to adapt to technology and it drives me up the wall and makes my job 100x harder

My last boss was 20 years younger than me, and was the same as your boss. I hear ya!

 

[simply1]

So you need to find a way to record this as well. You want to see the video of the various services delivery drivers FINALLY stopping to drop a package off at this house. They probably know the house just because they drive by it and never stop there.

 

[12191987]

Am I an ******* for wanting to get to the bottom of this once and for all?

That is probably a matter of perspective, but your plan sounds solid. You should absolutely do it.

 

[cycloner29]

 

[aobie]

I think this has already been answered that it should absolutely not be a problem for delivery. I currently live in unincorporated county land in Washington, but my address ties to a city. I have not had issues with getting mail or packages delivered, and that's even with google maps and apple maps both thinking my house is on the next plot of land.

Obviously not in Iowa, but it sounds like a very similar situation and we've been fine for over 5 years (and on new construction).

 

[jcyclonee]

So why am I the A-hole?

I mean, I've definitely been one more than I'd like to admit.

Just having fun with you. I enjoy your sense of humor. You're certainly welcome to refer to me as such. I've definitely been one more that I'd like to admit too.

 

[ImJustKCClone]

I think this has already been answered that it should absolutely not be a problem for delivery. I currently live in unincorporated county land in Washington, but my address ties to a city. I have not had issues with getting mail or packages delivered, and that's even with google maps and apple maps both thinking my house is on the next plot of land.

Obviously not in Iowa, but it sounds like a very similar situation and we've been fine for over 5 years (and on new construction).

We moved to our acreage (county land but zip code is nearest town) in 2003. For the first few years deliveries were a little iffy. Mail was fine - we had an actual street address instead of a R1, R2, etc. Package delivery was the problem...online maps mislabled our gravel lane w/6 houses as a different road about 1/4 mile to the north. GPS and Google maps have pretty much eliminated that problem.

 

[cdnlngld]

Buy a nice gift for your wife, and ask them if you can ship it to their house because you don't want the wife to accidentaly see it before you want to give it to her.

 

[KnappShack]

Buy a nice gift for your wife, and ask them if you can ship it to their house because you don't want the wife to accidentaly see it before you want to give it to her.

These are the people you gotta look out for

 

[KennyPratt42]

In my mind I break it into two situations. First, when you are out of town and they have something shipped that needs to be taken inside, that is not a reasonable expectation for you or your wife to take care of. Its absolutely a reasonable boundary to set that they either wait to order whatever it is, try shipping it to their address, or they drive to your house to get it when its delivered. I assuming this scenario doesn't happen often.

In the more common scenario when your wife is taking packages with her the next time she goes into work, you're letting your annoyance in the inefficiency of a system, that doesn't really involve you, cause you to want to be passive aggressive. If its truly just about your own curiosity and not about proving you're right or they're being illogical, then you should be able to just be open about it. You could honestly tell your in-laws that you are sending a package to their house as an experiment out of your own curiosity and that you don't have any expectation for anything to change whether it does or doesn't arrive. I have a feeling that part of your real motivation is either it might make the situation stop if the package arrives or at least you will be vindicated in being right. Neither of those are great motivations for inserting yourself anonymously into a situation that doesn't really involve you.

 

[BigTurk]

My in-laws grew up in and around Town A. My wife was raised either in town or just on the outskirts. My MIL worked right in town her entire career.

When my wife was in college, they moved to an acreage about 10 miles out of town, where they still live. This acreage’s 911 address is in Town B, where they didn’t work.

After making the move, my MIL kept a PO Box in Town A, and had everything shipped there. Now that she’s retired, she doesn’t go to town everyday so it’s less convenient to have the PO box. My MIL is convinced because her physical address is in Town B, but the PO Box is in Town, if she puts her address down for delivery, things won’t get delivered to her actual address.

My wife and I live 45 miles away, but my wife works in Town A. My in-laws now have all of their parcel packages delivered to OUR house. My wife throws them in her car, and my MIL drives into Town A to get them from my wife’s car.

I personally think this is absolutely certifiably insane. Once when we were on vacation in the winter, one of their packages was delivered to our house with freezable contents. I had to call a buddy to come by and drag it into our garage. On a Saturday. It just creates another layer of things for my wife to take care of that she doesn’t need. To me, this is pointless and crazy.

There’s no god damn way that the various delivery services won’t go to their house. They live directly on a large Federal Highway (US 63).

I want to order a package and have it delivered to their home, just to demonstrate that it’s possible. My wife got pissed and said I was only doing it to a prove a point and shame her parents for their irrational behavior (she acknowledges to me that this is insane). At this point I just really want to know if there IS some crazy reason that packages don’t get delivered there. There’s a slight chance my MIL is right, and I legitimately don’t want to judge her behavior as neurotic if it isn’t.

I’ve decided to order them a gift online and have it shipped. I’ll do it so they’re the recipient, and it’s anonymous. When they get it, I guarantee they will say something to my wife about the anonymous gift they got out of the blue. Since my name won’t be attached, they won’t know it’s me, and won’t assume I’m trying to make fun of them. I will know whether this whole crazy thing is legitimate. Theoretically everyone should win. But my wife will know it’s me, and she’ll be pissed off as all hell.

Am I an ******* for wanting to get to the bottom of this once and for all?

How close to death are your in-laws? What I mean is could you say nothing and wait it out? I am only partly joking though I am being fully cruel.

 

[cydsho]

Do the in laws also not like to go to Des Moines because its the "big city" and are afraid of the traffic?

My parents live in BFE rural iowa and for DECADES their address was Rural Route 2, xxxxxxx IA. Everything got delivered fine. Now with 911 address it still works but now you can put the address in maps and actually find it.

 

[simply1]

Are you going to lie to your wife when she asks you if you did it?

 

[jsb]

Don't mess with your in-laws unless your wife completely supports it. It sounds like it rarely affects you and while it is stupid, it doesn't seem worth being an ******* just to make a point.