Need Some Help
- Thread starter EYEoftheSTORM
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I'm not sure but a lot of women must think they are going to kick the bucket at 31.
Hey dude,
I, myself, am 30 and married. My wife also turns 30 this year. I also have a PhD in Psychology which is never a good thing when it comes to marriage! Anyhoo, take what I say with a huge grain of salt as I am a researcher and not a counselor.
Cumulative stress is a killer. It drains the body of resources and can dramatically impair your partner's mood, ability to process information, reaction time, sleep, and even immune functioning. If she is not wanting to talk to you, then definitely don't force her as this will add pressure or stress onto an already stressful time.
So...what can you do. Flat out tell her I'm here if you want to talk. Do "the little things" that show her you care and age doesn't matter. Hell...tell her she is as awesome as Iowa State! That one always works for me
I am a counselor and you did a pretty good job. It sounds like the op's GF is not mad at him, which means that she goes through spells of being down. Quite normal, most of us experience them often. It is the mismatch in the op and his GF that is creating the problem. She deals with her problems silently(or at least not with the op), and you want to help her. What you can do is exactly what the above poster mentioned. Make sure she knows if she wants to talk that you are ready, and then try to brighter her day yourself. Do something she likes.
If this problem persists and it is big enough to cause you unneeded stress, or she starts taking it out on you, that is when you start questioning your relationship, IMO.
Relationships aren't, and shouldn't be easy. Work at them and they should get better.
I can say anyhoo as much or as little as I want. Anyhoo, Anyhoo, ANYHOO. At least I am not a hawkeye fan.
Also, remember gay marriage is legal in Iowa so who knows and who cares (though I am married to a woman, and your Luke Perry avatar is interesting).
ANYHOOO...I love getting blazed for trying to lend someone some advice. The fact you go straight to questioning another's sexuality makes me suspicious of yours (not that it is a bad thing, ANYHOO).
To the OP, don't fret too much. Turning 30 is not at all bad and it is okay not to talk about things just as much as it is to talk about them. Marriage is letting your wife be mad sometimes and letting her just work through it (the same goes for other relationships).
My answer...booze is your friend (kidding of course).
Anyhoo, peace.
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Well trainer, ill take your advice. She went home for a while to get away from it all. She insists its nothing the matter with me so I will take that from her and work with what I have. She has had a few things that have bothered her for a while and I have always been able to work with her to make her feel better about them. But the problem persists and now I am letting her go home and not holding her back. She wants to be around ones she loves and I want her to see that things are not that bad and to see that what she has is really good.
Ill just send her a text saying if you want to talk I will be here.
Ill just send her a text saying if you want to talk I will be here.
Ha, dont worry, I catch hell from her for being on CF so much (no thats not the problem). I most certainly will not be telling her I asked you guys for help lol. In all honesty thanks for the advice though, it means alot and will help me out.
Ill take a guess and say you are single... If you do in fact have a significant other color me surprised, and tell me how you got her. lol
If you watch The League on FX you will know what I mean when I say it might be time to break out the "special sex". That could clear this situation right up. :biglaugh:
