I had you pegged as bigger than that
apologizing in advance for sidetracking, but . . .
A man wakes up in the hospital bandaged from head to toe. The doc walks in and the man asked what happened. The doc informed him that he was in a terrible accident and would be fine after some healing. The doc informed him that all was well except he lost his penis in the accident and they couldn't find it to reattach it. The man groaned but the doc informed him they had the technology to build him a new one but it was expensive--$1000/inch. He also advised the man that they checked his insurance and he had $9000 due him, and suggested he discuss it with his wife. If he had a 5 inch before and replaced it with a 9 inch his wife may be overwhelmed, and conversely if he had a 9 and went with a five she may be disappointed.
The next day the doc asked him if they made a decision and what it was. The man replied "Yes, we're getting quartz countertops for the kitchen"