Here at ISU, the evals don't reach the profs/instructors/TAs until a day or two after grade reports reach students.
Then it's presented to us as a compiled PDF document. It'll show the # of 5s, 4s, 3s, 2s, and 1s for each question, along with a bar graph and the average for each question.
The comments are compiled into one mass section. For example, every answer people put under "What did you like most about this course" are loaded into one anonymous section, and the same for each of the questions.
I had one student who signed her initials after writing "You're doing great. Keep it up!" She had an A anyway.
By the time we see that, students have grades and we're locked out from the computerized grading system. To make an adjustment, we would have to do a little paperwork and gather a signature or two.
With all that in mind, I tell students just to answer honestly, whether it's one of the fun answers from this thread (which sound like things I made up before) or something like "I felt a little piece of my soul die every time that fool opened his mouth. If he's paid by the word, reduce the rate and then maybe he'll finally shut up." We really don't have strong retaliation options.