stabbing outside of pella middle school

[clones_jer]

I do empathize with the teachers on this thread. the idea of not being able to enforce something like "everyone put your phones on this table for the period" is disheartening, I didn't realize schools control / kid's behaviors had slipped THAT much.

We live in what we call the "Pella bubble" because Pella "isn't a real place" lol, we're pretty insulated from a lot of things with the higher incomes and large religious contingent in the community. we tend to be a little behind finding out "real world" problems, my wife and I joke that we need to drop our kids off in our hometowns for a week to toughen em up.

but if what people on this thread are describing is real, that's just really disappointing. it feels like we're more worried about not making bad students upset than we are about making good students continue to excel.

 

[TitanClone]

Just out of curiosity, how old are you?

I'm 36 and guidance counselors at grade schools I attended (going all the way back to elementary, even) were entirely therapists/psychologists for the students.

We had different staff ("career advisors", if my memory serves) who helped with laying out a plan for your future after HS.

I'm 32 and ours had psychology or similar degrees but weren't actual psychologists

 

[1SEIACLONE]

Obviously, everyone's situation is different, so drawing a line in the sand seems futile on this subject. IMO, the smart phone is too easy of a scapegoat. Parent your kids to appreciate the time away from the phone. Teach them to use it as a tool and not a social crutch. Show them both good and bad aspects of the phone so they know what to look out for.

For most of us, there's a huge learning curve because it's a complete 180 from how we grew up. Early on, I asked my older sibs for advice on how they dealt with phone with their kids. I found my own blend of what's worked and what hasn't. I made mistakes and learned from them.

I'm completely aware of every negative aspect of phones, but there is a bit of an echo chamber on the subject. Even on social media, there are a lot of positive and supportive people that can reach some kids that are too shy in live social settings and need an outlet to be heard. It's not all negative despite what many like to say.

Kids are going to access this information on their own or through a friend. In my experience, banning anything from a kid makes them wonder what they're missing and make them want it more. (Please no lazy "If they want to try cocaine, are your ok with that?" replies. You know it's not the same. Besides, I will show them the proper technique so they don't look like a newb at parties)

Phones now make bullying of a students a 24/7 type of thing. Before the student could get away from the bullying when they left the school. Now they use their phones to continue to bully the kid in and out of school.

 

[Clark]

This is a good idea in theory but impossible in practice. Most parents that try this it doesn’t do anything but push kids away while giving parents a false sense of security. If you kid has friends they will just let them use their phone, or iPad, or laptop or anything and they will make their own accounts on their friends device.

If you think any of the “parent control” apps or features don’t have easy workarounds you’re being intentionally naive. And even if you kids doesn’t push that boundaries they can just use a friends as mentioned above.

As long as social media exists and it’s the main network kids use banning it in your household is an exercise in futility. Instead you have to have the uncomfortable and frequent conversations with kids about the devices and their lives.

If you raised your kid on the device or used it as a distraction from the time they were a toddler it’s most likely too late anyways.

The way we have chosen to handle this with our kids (the oldest is 9, so we haven't even gotten to the "fun" part yet) is they have a tablet at home that they can have social media on (it's only facebook at this point, which they only use to messenger with their friends or family)

We generally limit tablet time to roughly a half hour a day. I would guess this will increase as they get older, depending on grades, behavior, etc

The key here (imo) isn't to eliminate social media, it's to create the ability for them to have breaks from it. So if they use a friends phone at school, I guess I don't really care.

Again, in my non professional opinion, the issues we want to avoid are not getting sleep because of screen time (shut off the wifi at bedtime) and removing the potential for online bullying to be a problem that our kids can't escape from (limiting screen time)

Obviously, you have to teach them how to regulate their own screen time which involves regulating your own. If you can't put down your phone for a couple hours a night, it'll be hard to tell your kids that they should.

 

[1SEIACLONE]

I do empathize with the teachers on this thread. the idea of not being able to enforce something like "everyone put your phones on this table for the period" is disheartening, I didn't realize schools control / kid's behaviors had slipped THAT much.

We live in what we call the "Pella bubble" because Pella "isn't a real place" lol, we're pretty insulated from a lot of things with the higher incomes and large religious contingent in the community. we tend to be a little behind finding out "real world" problems, my wife and I joke that we need to drop our kids off in our hometowns for a week to toughen em up.

but if what people on this thread are describing is real, that's just really disappointing. it feels like we're more worried about not making bad students upset than we are about making good students continue to excel.

It happens and the parents for the most part are to blame. They have taken away the ability to manage and teach the kids. Its one of the biggest reason people are taking their kids out of the pubic school system and putting them in to private schools that make the kids and parents follow the rules they have laid out or the student is not allowed to be there. Its not the teachers, or the union, its the parents that refuse to discipline their children and do not allow anyone else to do it either. The good kids quickly see that other kids are getting away with it, and before you know it, they are doing the same crap if you do not stop it in the beginning.

34.5 years of it, and I get up every morning, and thank God, I am out of it.

 

[AgronAlum]

I disagree completely. I'll have a kid starting school in a few years and I hope they ban cell phones in school. I won't be giving her a phone that does anything more than call or text until she's over 16 either.

Kids being glued to smart phones is a massive ******* problem and we need to not let it continue, societally.

A basic call/text type of phone? I'm fine with a kid having that. But no apps or internet.

Parental controls work fine too and Apple makes it really easy. My 12 year old has a phone, mostly because there are some things that go on at his mother's house that require it in case of emergency.

All apps I select are limited to a combined hour per day. If he wants more, he has to send a request. All apps have to be approved by me before downloaded. The only apps I set for unlimited time are call, text and YouTube music.

I can see how much time was spent doing anything on his phone on a daily basis, if needed.

 

[mynameisjonas]

Are they going to release the name of this piece of **** attempted murderer?

 

[bos]

Are they going to release the name of this piece of **** attempted murderer?

As he was underage and full intent is unknown, doubtful. What good does a name do the public anyway? It just makes a circus of it especially a teenager.

 

[crs8975]

Are they going to release the name of this piece of **** attempted murderer?

Attempted Murderer... I'm going to guess that's a bit of a stretch based on what's been shared so far.

 

[ClonesFTW]

Comparing what teachers have to do to hold student attention now versus prior to 2014ish is a completely different world. Can't imagine how much less I would have paid attention if I went through HS with an IPhone and Snapchat/Instagram/Twitter etc.

 

[nrg4isu]

Phones now make bullying of a students a 24/7 type of thing. Before the student could get away from the bullying when they left the school. Now they use their phones to continue to bully the kid in and out of school.

That CAN be the case, but it again falls back on the parents. It's a very easy thing for the parents to correct, limiting social media, etc. Unfortunately, there are many very unqualified parents.

 

[nrg4isu]

I do empathize with the teachers on this thread. the idea of not being able to enforce something like "everyone put your phones on this table for the period" is disheartening, I didn't realize schools control / kid's behaviors had slipped THAT much.

We live in what we call the "Pella bubble" because Pella "isn't a real place" lol, we're pretty insulated from a lot of things with the higher incomes and large religious contingent in the community. we tend to be a little behind finding out "real world" problems, my wife and I joke that we need to drop our kids off in our hometowns for a week to toughen em up.

but if what people on this thread are describing is real, that's just really disappointing. it feels like we're more worried about not making bad students upset than we are about making good students continue to excel.

Pella bubble is real. I can't tell you how many times I've used Pella as an example of an outlier.

 

[clones_jer]

was reading some of the FB comments on the story and this is very ironically hilarious

James N
isnt the parents responsible for there kids?

I mean ... someone's parent did NOT get them a tutor in English class

 

[NoCreativity]

Don't want to derail the thread, just saying that taking a phone away from a HS teen can create a lot of new mental health stressors on them.

I had to go home from school and call my friends on my parent's rotary phone. I have no idea how any of us made it to middle age.

 

[ClonesFTW]

I won't be giving her a phone that does anything more than call or text until she's over 16 either.

Don't disagree with you, at all. But

 

[Gonzo]

because teachers have lost so much power in the past decade that even if the teacher said put your phone away, the kids will not listen.

And there's only so much the teacher can/is willing to do out of fear the parents will sue and/or school administrators will come down hard on them to appease the parents and keep from being sued. It's completely f*cked up.

 

[MJ29]

Pella girls wrestling coach talked down middle school student after alleged knife attack

Pella police say a 14-year-old student injured two girls at Pella Middle School in a knife attack Wednesday morning. The student had previously been charged with assaulting a school counselor in February.

www.kcci.com

 

[clones_jer]

Pella bubble is real. I can't tell you how many times I've used Pella as an example of an outlier.

For the most part it's good. Generally the public school performs similar to a lot of private schools in the state, but lately we've had some brushes with reality.

 

[ISUCubswin]

The phones issue - its simple. Kids should be allowed to have their phones on them. But they should absolutely not be allowed to use them in class! Teaches them responsibility and how to act like a grown up.

Why is that so hard to enforce? And yet, it is. I don't get it.

Put a bowl of unlimited M&Ms in front of me and I’m going eat and eat and eat until someone removes them from me.

 

[clones_jer]

I disagree completely. I'll have a kid starting school in a few years and I hope they ban cell phones in school. I won't be giving her a phone that does anything more than call or text until she's over 16 either.

lol that's more than a decade away, cell phones will probably be old news by then. we'll all have chip implants