I need a new hobby.
On a dark Utah highway, cool wind in my hair
Warm smell of potential riches, rising up through the air
Up ahead in the distance, I saw the Big 12’s light
My Mormon was heavy and my sight grew dim
I had to stop for the night
There Bebee stood in the doorway;
I heard the Big 12's bell
And I was thinking to myself,
’this could be heaven or this could be hell’
Bebee lit up a candle and he showed me the way
There were voices down the corridor,
I thought I heard them say...
Welcome to the Big 12 conference
Such a lovely place
Such a lovely face
Plenty of room at the Big 12 conference
Any time of year, you can find it here
Bebee’s mind is tiffany-twisted, he got the mercedes bends
He got a lot of pretty universities, that he calls friends
How they dance in the courtyard, except for Baylor, of course.
Some dance to remember, some dance to divorce
So I called up the commissioner,
’tell me where do I sign?’
He said, ’we haven’t had that spirit here since nineteen sixty nine’
And still those voices are calling from far away,
Wake you up in the middle of the night
Just to hear them say...
Welcome to the Big 12 conference
Such a lovely place
Such a lovely face
They livin’ it up at the Big 12 conference
What a nice surprise, until you hear the lies
Big Fox TV contract,
The pink champagne on ice
And Aggie said ’we are all just prisoners here, of our own device’
And in the Long Horn’s chambers,
They gathered for the feast
The stab at Bevo with their steely knives,
But they just can’t kill the beast
Last thing I remember, I was
Running for the door
I tried to reclaim my independence
You know, the place I was before
’relax,’ said the commissioner,
We are programmed to receive.
You can checkout any time you like,
But you can never leave!
