We should have recorded the discussions we'd have in the break room at work when you were a junior/senior.
"The Talk" with growing boys
- Thread starter Jer
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We should have recorded the discussions we'd have in the break room at work when you were a junior/senior.
demoncore1031
Well-Known Member
My oldest is 18. We had the talk when he was 14. I told him just be responsible and be careful. Also told him that if he likes a girl, just take things slow. That was pretty much it.
Haven't talked to my younger boy yet. He's just starting puberty so right now we are just laughing whenever his voice cracks. Funny story though...
My sister got him a puberty book for Christmas, as a joke. My son is looking through the book and kept laughing. He said "the book says I'll get erections in school. What so I do if that happens?" My brother then tells him that he has to tell the teacher hahaha. Then my son says "my hand goes up and so does my penis."
Haven't talked to my younger boy yet. He's just starting puberty so right now we are just laughing whenever his voice cracks. Funny story though...
My sister got him a puberty book for Christmas, as a joke. My son is looking through the book and kept laughing. He said "the book says I'll get erections in school. What so I do if that happens?" My brother then tells him that he has to tell the teacher hahaha. Then my son says "my hand goes up and so does my penis."
I have 2 girls so my wife will get the task of this talk. However as a dad I've always said with a boy I'd only have to worry about 1 "joystick", with girls I've now got to worry about many joysticks which is an even worse feeling.
This was exactly my mentality. I needed our son to understand it’s normal and not feel ashamed or increase his anxiety or depression. Tried to normalize it as much as possible and very much from the emotional/internal perspective.
Did say I never want to find my washcloth sticky, always use a tissue
I don’t know everyone’s experiences with their mental workings or mental health, but I’ve been an open book on here for way too long on mine. Anyways, I found that the timing of Inside Out 1 and 2 has been absolutely perfect for the age of our oldest for each release. We saw it this weekend and he was dreading it but said, damn I understand the anxiety and boredom characters - they don’t leave me the **** alone.
We’ve been dealing with it with him as a progression over the years (ADHD, OCD, Anxiety, Depression, and Anxiety) but him seeing it in a visual life scenario with an external perspective I think is incredibly reaffirming and helpful.
While we are very open with the kids, I hope a lot of people that maybe don’t ask enough questions uses that movie as a way to break the ice and start having those critical supporting conversations with their kids. Open dialogue and support is so undervalued and often times skipped.
We’ve been dealing with it with him as a progression over the years (ADHD, OCD, Anxiety, Depression, and Anxiety) but him seeing it in a visual life scenario with an external perspective I think is incredibly reaffirming and helpful.
While we are very open with the kids, I hope a lot of people that maybe don’t ask enough questions uses that movie as a way to break the ice and start having those critical supporting conversations with their kids. Open dialogue and support is so undervalued and often times skipped.
Both our daughters have struggled with anxiety and depression over the past several years. The worst of it for both of them were those last 2-3 years of HS, and it affected our younger daughter more seriously. If you're a parent of a teen who never had to deal with it, consider yourself very fortunate. For me there's been no worse feeling in my life than seeing my kid so down and struggling so hard at 3 am, and the helpless feeling of knowing that at that moment there's really nothing you can do to make them feel better. A 15-year-old's eyes should never look so sunken and so heavy.
We never connected over the Inside Out movies, but we did watch Dear Evan Hansen together during one of our middle-of-the-night hangouts. She was a huge fan of the musical, and it made her feel a little better knowing I hadn't seen it and was watching with her. Very powerful movie. Yeah it's a musical and there's some cheddar here and there, but a really powerful story that does capture what so many teens are going through these days. I'd highly recommend to any parent of a teen or tween.
This thread is interesting. Growing up around livestock - farrowing house myself, and our kids helping with sorting/calving leads to understanding the cycle of life before health class in school. I talked to my son about how to treat girls - be a friend, listen, respect, cant really explain the felling of love as often confused with lust, etc. My wife talked to our daughter.
Having said that I remember this great lesson talk with my dad pretty well when I was 13. Out of the blue he asked if I had a girlfriend. I said no. He said do you like the girls at school? I said yes and no (Becky was so mean, don't know how anyone could like her!). Nothing else was ever said about it.
I learned more than I should have from my older brothers. Some true, most not.
Having said that I remember this great lesson talk with my dad pretty well when I was 13. Out of the blue he asked if I had a girlfriend. I said no. He said do you like the girls at school? I said yes and no (Becky was so mean, don't know how anyone could like her!). Nothing else was ever said about it.
I learned more than I should have from my older brothers. Some true, most not.
My mother found my search history on the family computer, confronted me one night, didn’t really give me the talk.
Next day or 2, dad and I were at my grandparents farm doing chores. Waiting for the water tank to fill up, he says, “I hear you found some stuff on the internet.” I embarrassingly say yeah. Awkward pause, “Well why didn’t you show me?” Definitely weird, but also really needed to help me understand what was happening was normal.
Finished it up with saying don’t look it up on the computer though.
Next day or 2, dad and I were at my grandparents farm doing chores. Waiting for the water tank to fill up, he says, “I hear you found some stuff on the internet.” I embarrassingly say yeah. Awkward pause, “Well why didn’t you show me?” Definitely weird, but also really needed to help me understand what was happening was normal.
Finished it up with saying don’t look it up on the computer though.
My gf on the other hand had only school to learn that stuff as her mom was extremely old school about that stuff. Apparently my gf didn’t pay attention to the male anatomy part of class, so, our first time she was surprised however many seconds in when I did my thing. So, we basically have had to learn and teach over the years on our own.
My father was a partner in a veterinary practice. As a kid, it was primarily a large animal practice. Never needed an explanation
Kids who grew up on farms with livestock also never needed an explanation.
"See that,...don't do it. Let's go deliver that calf."
Kids who grew up on farms with livestock also never needed an explanation.
"See that,...don't do it. Let's go deliver that calf."
I just looked the title, the question, choices, and the first original post. I'm 40 and took me awhile trying figure out what it's talking about. I think your children would be really confused, so I hope there is for good suggestions the pages after it. (Never heard about 1+1=3, is that the new "birds and bees").
I couldn't figure why the question if it was maybe reasons:
1. How makes a baby (like came from your mom her tummy and make it with the parents loving not the stork).
2. Sex. If you do sex with a male to a female, penis into vagina, that can make another baby.
3. Sex w/ Sexuality. Urges, Sexualize. Things you can do without having a baby. Like HJ, BJ, ZJ, Sex, Anal, Protections, etc (probably don't need the shocker or the rusty trombone).
I couldn't figure why the question if it was maybe reasons:
1. How makes a baby (like came from your mom her tummy and make it with the parents loving not the stork).
2. Sex. If you do sex with a male to a female, penis into vagina, that can make another baby.
3. Sex w/ Sexuality. Urges, Sexualize. Things you can do without having a baby. Like HJ, BJ, ZJ, Sex, Anal, Protections, etc (probably don't need the shocker or the rusty trombone).
