Have been is a situation where punches have been thrown at me, a lot of the reaction is pure instinct. Ive only ever been in 1 fight in my and didn’t throw the first punch. Hell I never knew I had it in me to throw them back but I did.
It’s a split second reaction whether you have a helmet or not, the fight or flight instinct kicks in and with men it’s usually the fight instincts.
I am familiar, but you still have to overcome it.
If I may relate two stories, both from high school...
-- One time, a bully came up behind me and put me in a choke-hold... And I swung the back of my head back at his face and broke his nose.
I did not think to do it. It was just pure instinct, like you said. Next thing I really remember after swinging was being on the ground after he tossed me down.
-- Another time, somebody came up behind me and sucker punched me in the back of head behind my ear. I had a part in a small prank on him -- nothing heinous or truly embarrassing, only momentarily inconvenient in that teenage way -- and that was his "payback."
Took every ounce of self-control that I had not to turn around and just deck him as hard as I could. It was a punk move and while I was not a talented athlete, I at least did some sports in high school and participated in weight training, so the theater nerd who hit me was not going to last all that long. But I held it back. He got an Gunnery Sergeant Hartman profanity-laden chewing from me instead, but I did not lay a finger on him.
I was prouder of myself for the second than the first.
I know it is hard, but you have to do it.