8 year-old assaulted on bus. Advice plz.

[RezClone]

One thing I strongly suggest is having your son talk to a counselor of some kind, whether a private one or the school one if they have one for elementary grades. You are probably correct that he is ok, but kids are pretty good at hiding feelings as well. Just make sure he has recovered mentally and emotionally.

I may have missed it skimming the thread, but is there anything special about the perp? We had a kid that was a good athlete at least for our school, but never great really. Making it to state wrestling but never hit the podium, which when you think about all the classes and weights, a lot of kids make it to state wrestling. He perversely assaulted a kid in PE class where there were no cameras. Nothing happened to him but when the kid knocked him, it was right in front of a camera. Original victim finished high school at alternative school. Any marginal athletic ability means a kid can get away with anything here.

The perp is the exact opposite situation as the kid you mentioned. Classic juvie/delinquent situation. horrible homelife/background that caused it and enables it.

I have some compassion for his situation, but the limit of that stops at my son's well being, obviously. It's perplexing.

 

[ISUTex]

Super smart from an internet tough guy, nothing better to help an 8 year old son then to have his dad get a criminal record and spend some time in jail. Just brilliant analysis here

Wow. You are a ******* moron.

 

[FriendlySpartan]

Wow. You are a ******* moron.

You’re the one advising beating up another person, the opposite of helping the problem *******

 

[BWRhasnoAC]

Makes me wonder if any of those bus cameras work or if they're just for show?

 

[RezClone]

this was from the end of the last school year. Presumably the kid has been expelled after the second incident but I know some school districts really don't believe in expelling anyone.

What is the reason the high school kids are riding the same bus as elementary kids? That just seems like a really bad idea but maybe I'm not considering everything. It's been awhile since I was bus riding age but even in a rural district made up of several towns, there were never situations where I was on the bus with someone potentially 10 years older than me.

He has not been expelled.

 

[RezClone]

Is the kid still riding the same bus as your son this fall?

UPDATE: the superintendent just confirmed to us that the 16 year old who hurt my son will not be riding the same bus as my son and the other daycare kids to and from daycare.

BUT....When pressed on the safety concern of him potentially harming other children on a different bus, he declined to comment other than to say it is this kid's right to have transportation. He wouldn't even tell me us who will be driving the daycare bus.

Because "the bus routes aren't finished yet."

 

[ImJustKCClone]

UPDATE: the superintendent just confirmed to us that the 16 year old who hurt my son will not be riding the same bus as my son and the other daycare kids to and from daycare.

BUT....When pressed on the safety concern of him potentially harming other children on a different bus, he declined to comment other than to say it is this kid's right to have transportation. He wouldn't even tell me us who will be driving the daycare bus.

Because "the bus routes aren't finished yet."

If that kid injures another kid on the new bus, that superintendent is gonna have some 'splainin' to do.

 

[cowgirl836]

UPDATE: the superintendent just confirmed to us that the 16 year old who hurt my son will not be riding the same bus as my son and the other daycare kids to and from daycare.

BUT....When pressed on the safety concern of him potentially harming other children on a different bus, he declined to comment other than to say it is this kid's right to have transportation. He wouldn't even tell me us who will be driving the daycare bus.

Because "the bus routes aren't finished yet."

Finding drivers is hard AF but if the kid doesn't live that far from school, it would seem an option for whatever route gets done the fastest to double back and just get that kid for the mornings at least. Not sure about the PM.

God if it's only two miles (I know they have to bus 1 mile+) I'd say walk or get a ******* bike. You're 16. Be good for you to think about life a couple times a day.

 

[1SEIACLONE]

He has not been expelled.

Schools do not like to expel a student as it makes them look bad. i know that sucks, but PR is a huge deal with schools. Truthfully you have been too reactive and not proactive here. Call the board members, not next week tonight or tomorrow night. Set up time to talk to the principle and the Supt if possible. Tell them what you are coming in for and why and you want a meeting ASAP, and that you have talked to an attorney and if they do not do what you ask, the attorney will be contacting the school over this matter.

Here is what you are asking for, protection for you son and the other younger students on the bus, that means get this kid on another bus or an aid will be riding with him on the bus to stop this type of thing happening in the future. Making sure this kid knows that if he approaches your son or any other children half his age, then the school has been warned and you will pursue legal action against the school.
Be sure to tell the district that if your complaints are not followed to your satisfaction that you will be contacting the local TV stations and newspapers in your area with what occurred and that the district refuses to help you out. Then do it if they refuse, districts do not want TV and newspapers questioning them on matters like this and want to keep it out of the public light.

 

[Clark]

Schools do not like to expel a student as it makes them look bad. i know that sucks, but PR is a huge deal with schools. Truthfully you have been too reactive and not proactive here. Call the board members, not next week tonight or tomorrow night. Set up time to talk to the principle and the Supt if possible. Tell them what you are coming in for and why and you want a meeting ASAP, and that you have talked to an attorney and if they do not do what you ask, the attorney will be contacting the school over this matter.

Here is what you are asking for, protection for you son and the other younger students on the bus, that means get this kid on another bus or an aid will be riding with him on the bus to stop this type of thing happening in the future. Making sure this kid knows that if he approaches your son or any other children half his age, then the school has been warned and you will pursue legal action against the school.
Be sure to tell the district that if your complaints are not followed to your satisfaction that you will be contacting the local TV stations and newspapers in your area with what occurred and that the district refuses to help you out. Then do it if they refuse, districts do not want TV and newspapers questioning them on matters like this and want to keep it out of the public light.

Agreed in part, "no child left behind" is pretty noble in theory and some admins really believe in it. It just also has very real unintended consequences (like driving students into private schools)

 

[Clark]

Schools do not like to expel a student as it makes them look bad. i know that sucks, but PR is a huge deal with schools. Truthfully you have been too reactive and not proactive here. Call the board members, not next week tonight or tomorrow night. Set up time to talk to the principle and the Supt if possible. Tell them what you are coming in for and why and you want a meeting ASAP, and that you have talked to an attorney and if they do not do what you ask, the attorney will be contacting the school over this matter.

Here is what you are asking for, protection for you son and the other younger students on the bus, that means get this kid on another bus or an aid will be riding with him on the bus to stop this type of thing happening in the future. Making sure this kid knows that if he approaches your son or any other children half his age, then the school has been warned and you will pursue legal action against the school.
Be sure to tell the district that if your complaints are not followed to your satisfaction that you will be contacting the local TV stations and newspapers in your area with what occurred and that the district refuses to help you out. Then do it if they refuse, districts do not want TV and newspapers questioning them on matters like this and want to keep it out of the public light.

Also, this is going to sound selfish but if his son's well being is being taken care of (which it seems it is with the removal of the student from his bus route) I think I wouldn't bother any more with this unless I had medical bills that needed covering.

 

[1SEIACLONE]

Agreed in part, "no child left behind" is pretty noble in theory and some admins really believe in it. It just also has very real unintended consequences (like driving students into private schools)

The only way a child is going to be expelled is if they bring a weapon onto school grounds, or has a long repeated pattern against students and staff. Short of just beating the hell out of someone that is caught on tape, districts do not like to expel a student because it puts them in legal jeopardy from the student that is expelled.

 

[BCClone]

I believe the local school refused to transport a HS kid because they found a knife on him on the bus. Told him he had to find his own way. If the kid presents a risk on the bus, I would think they can sever that tie.

 

[JM4CY]

Schools do not like to expel a student as it makes them look bad. i know that sucks, but PR is a huge deal with schools. Truthfully you have been too reactive and not proactive here. Call the board members, not next week tonight or tomorrow night. Set up time to talk to the principle and the Supt if possible. Tell them what you are coming in for and why and you want a meeting ASAP, and that you have talked to an attorney and if they do not do what you ask, the attorney will be contacting the school over this matter.

Here is what you are asking for, protection for you son and the other younger students on the bus, that means get this kid on another bus or an aid will be riding with him on the bus to stop this type of thing happening in the future. Making sure this kid knows that if he approaches your son or any other children half his age, then the school has been warned and you will pursue legal action against the school.
Be sure to tell the district that if your complaints are not followed to your satisfaction that you will be contacting the local TV stations and newspapers in your area with what occurred and that the district refuses to help you out. Then do it if they refuse, districts do not want TV and newspapers questioning them on matters like this and want to keep it out of the public light.

Board members are the way to go. You get one on your side raising hell about it, the supt will act differently than what it sounds like he is now.

 

[BooneCy]

Also, this is going to sound selfish but if his son's well being is being taken care of (which it seems it is with the removal of the student from his bus route) I think I wouldn't bother any more with this unless I had medical bills that needed covering.

That is not selfish. It is accurate. It is accurate. The school is making sure the younger child will not be on the same bus going forward. As the parent, there is not a next step where now I will make sure the older child does not hurt anyone else. The administration is responsible for the larger problem, and has more information on the situation.

 

[BCClone]

That is not selfish. It is accurate. It is accurate. The school is making sure the younger child will not be on the same bus going forward. As the parent, there is not a next step where now I will make sure the older child does not hurt anyone else. The administration is responsible for the larger problem, and has more information on the situation.

This the reason we have gotten to where we are in several of these situations. People look out for themselves and don't think about the precedent it sets for things down the road. 16 year old kid injures 3 students and we make sure he doesn't ride the same bus. Next time it happens, there you go, that's what you get to do. If it was one remote incident, I would agree with you, but you have a delinquent running around injuring those who can't defend themselves very well.

How many kids can this kid injure before it's enough to make a parent concerned in your opinion? 10? 15? 25? No limit? Where is the line. To me 3 with one being a co-ed and another half his age are reason enough to take a stand and say I want a school where this type of behavior is not permitted.

 

[pourcyne]

I get what you are saying, but there is only so much a bus driver can do. Their first priority is keeping the children safe traffic-wise. They also have to maintain a sense of order on the bus but that has to be a secondary concern and will be pretty much impossible with a serial abuser student on your

Two Words: Incident Report.

Why wasn't one filed by the driver on the date of the assault?

 

[pourcyne]

The driver should have reported it if they did not. I am not going to defend this bus driver but will defend the general group here

The bus situation has changed dramatically since last century. Bus drivers can only tell kids to stop and hope they do, then report. My day if you screwed around, the bus driver stopped, came and got you and put you in the seat right behind him. Now that is a lawsuit if they do what they should do. After that, the phone rang at the kids house and that kids dad doled out the tough punishment. Kid usually came on the bus the next day and apologized to the driver.

Now, the driver or teacher gets a call before they can even get ready to make the call and the parent blames everyone but their kid and threatens lawsuits, open enrolling (which is not really punishment for the district but a reward) and chews out any adult they can think of.

This is why districts struggle with drivers, they get accused of a thousand things but can’t even break up fights.

Yes, times have changed, but not to the point where negligence has to allow any kid in jeopardy. What's more, all public school employees are Mandatory Reporters. It is their job to note & report any evidence of abuse, and not just that of a sexual nature. And let's not fall back on that old chestnut that good help is hard to find. That's codswallop.

 

[flycy]

1. For sure don’t make him understand what he should feel, if he seems fine with no real after issues then he very likely is. Keep an eye on it but otherwise kids can be incredibly resilient.

2. You need to stop listening to internet outrage on here that’s looking for its pound of flesh and take a step back and honestly think about what you want and what’s best for your family. Going through a long process like this when your child appears to be fine can actually make things a lot worse. He will have to give statements, relive the experience, talk to a lot of adults on both sides who will try to pick apart what happened.

If your looking for money, maybe you can get some kind of settlement, if your looking for punishment for the other child legally there isn’t going to be much that can happen that will give you the result you expect, especially if the offending party is 16.

This is a horrible situation but think long and hard before following most of the advice on here (because it’s awful since people can just rage but not have to actually go through the process that you will) if as you state your child is fine and showing no after effects.

This is good advice. Most these answers sound like revenge more than justice or truth. Dragging this into the media is terrible advice for your son. If you get a lawyer, pay for his time and just start by trying to get the recording that probably does exists. Expect it to be thousands of dollars just to do this and you may not be successful. You'd be surprised at all the privacy laws schools have to follow in matters like this. They may not be able to even legally acknowledge anything about the recording or even its existence without a court order. (Son-in-law is assistant principal in Des Moines metro area, stories of the hoops they have to jump through due to stupid laws is incredible. Stories like this are almost a daily occurrence)

Odds are the school knows what went on and are trying to do the right thing within the confines of the law but can't really let you know. This incident, no doubt, was factored in the subsequent suspension.

Not saying at all this is what happened, just saying its possible. I grew up riding rural bus that changed routes and got combined with the trailer court route. Those kids were rough. There were plenty of 8-year-olds that constantly harassed one or two of the rural area16-year-olds that still rode the bus. After about a half hour of harassment one day, just like every other day, one of the 16-year-olds punched a much younger kid as he got off the bus. The younger kid definitely deserved it. The 16-year-old was suspended from the bus for a week as I recall but didn't ride it again.

ps look out Sparty, the grammar police will come after you for all your (your)s

 

[BCClone]

Yes, times have changed, but not to the point where negligence has to allow any kid in jeopardy. What's more, all public school employees are Mandatory Reporters. It is their job to note & report any evidence of abuse, and not just that of a sexual nature. And let's not fall back on that old chestnut that good help is hard to find. That's codswallop.

Do you read what your reply to?