8 year-old assaulted on bus. Advice plz.

[AllInForISU]

ER, 2-3 dr visits, 1-2 casts……..probably 2k-2500 I would guess. To some of us, that’s not next to nothing. I didn’t even factor in any PT which seems to be common now for everything. That’s be 200-350/ visit.

I’m not saying it’s nothing, but I did want to give a reminder to anyone who might get or have unexpected medical expenses, they don’t accrue interest and as long as you are paying something, they don’t send it to collections.

Also, you can apply for financial aid with a lot of places, which can be a crazy amount of help.

Not to take away from anything with this discussion, but just a word of advice for anyone who might feel like they are in a hole of medical debt they can’t get out of.

 

[FarmClone]

Well of all the dumb advice on cf this one takes the cake.

 

[cyputz]

I don't know yet, my wife talked to the school Superintendent yesterday. It sounds like it's possible he is based on what she told me. School starts the 23rd.

PS she's talking to everyone again today too but she prefers to wait until after work to discuss big stuff. I will update as I learn new information. Discussions with the school and police did not sound good at all yesterday tho... which is why I posted this thread today in case it continues that way.


Edit: I want to get my ducks in a row and my head sorted out before I really going in with the related parties. My wife has mostly been the one dealing with the school and the police directly. She's no pushover and generally disagreeable in a very useful and postive way when it comes to stuff like this. But it's obvious she's getting the runaround and I need to come in and get things moving in the most impactful and efficient way possible with maybe a little more tact and focus. We make a good team. This thread is really helping a lot, and I appreciate everyone's opinions and feedback more than you will ever know.

Be organized, documented, strong and detailed on your discussions. The CA would represent the school district and all related employees…you are last!!!
Get a well known, strong, competent law firm. Hell I would donate to a Go Fund Me!
How many other kids has this 16 yr old hurt, and/or humiliated in previous years. There may be other instances that were brushed over - almost certain.

 

[FLYINGCYCLONE]

Maybe you could get support from parents of kids on your kids bus. Get the kid off the bus some how. I have been told that the Algona school buses have an adult on every bus that is not the driver. Is that a real thing in Iowa, in Algona, or not? Go after the School Board, nicely. Get on the agenda and get your story in their lap. They ain’t going to like the press.

 

[bozclone]

This really pisses me off. Things are so messed up today that school systems are more worried about lawsuits from thugs like this kid than actually dishing out appropriate punishment. They will provide no support for the victim because it may somehow show they were complicit.

I hate that this happened to your son. I think you need to ask

1) What is your goal of your next steps?
2) What is best for your son?

 

[madguy30]

How would expelling this kid make them look bad? Who would have a problem with it?

I think schools should have to put up with a lot trying to educate kids but it ends at violence. Nobody should have to deal with violence or live in fear of it.

His son seems to be dealing okay with it. There might be kids who witnessed it that are effed up by it. We just don’t know.

It makes the school look like they're not helping the kid or are targeting them from the outside.

The parents and/or their family/friends might go scorched earth on it and make things worse.

 

[JM4CY]

How would expelling this kid make them look bad? Who would have a problem with it?

I think schools should have to put up with a lot trying to educate kids but it ends at violence. Nobody should have to deal with violence or live in fear of it.

His son seems to be dealing okay with it. There might be kids who witnessed it that are effed up by it. We just don’t know.

Pretty sure they get dinged on state reporting but exactly sure in what capacity. The DOE doesn’t like that.

 

[VeloClone]

Two Words: Incident Report.

Why wasn't one filed by the driver on the date of the assault?

I guess I never heard if the proper reporting procedure was followed or not...

 

[BCClone]

Pretty sure they get dinged on state reporting but exactly sure in what capacity. The DOE doesn’t like that.

Yeah, they get beat up if they bounce someone that doesn't involve a complete threat with an actual weapon present. My kids go to public schools, but when you hear the teachers talk about losing good chunks of the day because a special needs kid threw a fit or was making loud noises, or even attacking the staff, you understand why private schools are popular. Rarely are any special needs or delinquent kids are in private schools.

 

[carvers4math]

Yeah, they get beat up if they bounce someone that doesn't involve a complete threat with an actual weapon present. My kids go to public schools, but when you hear the teachers talk about losing good chunks of the day because a special needs kid threw a fit or was making loud noises, or even attacking the staff, you understand why private schools are popular. Rarely are any special needs or delinquent kids are in private schools.

Popular because they can discriminate for other reasons too

 

[Tre4ISU]

I didn't read the first 8 pages of this thread, but the only acceptable answer is to beat the **** out of the 16 year olds dad. Eye for an eye. After you are done if he threatens to sue or get police involved for getting his ass kicked, threaten to sue for medical expenses for your son's medical care. /thread

I have a lot of sympathy for kids who grow up without some level of good parenting. It's one of, if not the worst problems a society can have. The thing is, though, that this kid isn't going to magically change. As a society there are two options for this kid. One is that he never faces any sort of severe consequences and just continues this path. I suppose there's a 10% chance he figures it out but it doesn't seem likely. The other is that he's dealt a severe consequence and, being 16, that's old enough to learn a lesson. You don't just throw the kid away like we seem to like to do. There needs to be a consequence tied together with some sort of intensive education/rehabilitation that allows a path forward. We are awful at that as a country in regard to pretty much affliction people are going through. Homeless drug addict? Either we want to throw them away or just allow them to fester.

 

[TitanClone]

At the end of the day keep your kids head up. I had a high school classmate who was bullied and snapped when we were sophomores or juniors, he smashed the other kids head on a railing and got expelled. From what I recall his parents weren't very present in his life.

 

[KnappShack]

I have a lot of sympathy for kids who grow up without some level of good parenting. It's one of, if not the worst problems a society can have. The thing is, though, that this kid isn't going to magically change. As a society there are two options for this kid. One is that he never faces any sort of severe consequences and just continues this path. I suppose there's a 10% chance he figures it out but it doesn't seem likely. The other is that he's dealt a severe consequence and, being 16, that's old enough to learn a lesson. You don't just throw the kid away like we seem to like to do. There needs to be a consequence tied together with some sort of intensive education/rehabilitation that allows a path forward. We are awful at that as a country in regard to pretty much affliction people are going through. Homeless drug addict? Either we want to throw them away or just allow them to fester.

Just reminds me of a recent trip to the park. A little girl was there and obviously needing adult attention. The mother was in the car and deeply involved in her phone.

Reminded my wife that not all kids have the same situation as we're (trying) to provide for our kids.

Later we stopped going to that park after someone drove by yelling the N-word.

It's a ****** up world.

 

[BooneCy]

This the reason we have gotten to where we are in several of these situations. People look out for themselves and don't think about the precedent it sets for things down the road. 16 year old kid injures 3 students and we make sure he doesn't ride the same bus. Next time it happens, there you go, that's what you get to do. If it was one remote incident, I would agree with you, but you have a delinquent running around injuring those who can't defend themselves very well.

How many kids can this kid injure before it's enough to make a parent concerned in your opinion? 10? 15? 25? No limit? Where is the line. To me 3 with one being a co-ed and another half his age are reason enough to take a stand and say I want a school where this type of

Fair point. Instead of holding the people in charge of the situation responsible and trusting them to do their job, as a group of people hearing only one side of the story, should form up a group to harass the older child. Maybe go to his house as a group. You know, run them out of town. We don’t want tolerate your kind here. Feels like that might be the better solution.

 

[BooneCy]

I have a feeling @FriendlySpartan you didn’t grasp the sarcasm in my reply.

 

[FriendlySpartan]

I have a feeling @FriendlySpartan you didn’t grasp the sarcasm in my reply.

Considering how many on here are not being sarcastic it might not be the place for it but I was hoping you were

 

[BCClone]

Fair point. Instead of holding the people in charge of the situation responsible and trusting them to do their job, as a group of people hearing only one side of the story, should form up a group to harass the older child. Maybe go to his house as a group. You know, run them out of town. We don’t want tolerate your kind here. Feels like that might be the better solution.

The incharge of the situation statement proves my point. Too many people are blaming the bus driver, the school administration, etc. The person in charge was the 16 year old, they know right from wrong. The next level for in charge is the parents, too many parents want kids but don't want to be parents in the tough situations, or they want to be the "cool" parents and friends to their kids. They are your kids, not your friends. You can act like friends when they are grown, but when they are growing they need parents that are in charge and showing and instilling in them a sense of right and wrong.

 

[Cyclonepride]

Pretty sure they get dinged on state reporting but exactly sure in what capacity. The DOE doesn’t like that.

There's a line of nonsense being followed that asserts that every child has a right to an education, even when that child is actively disturbing the right to an education for everyone around them.

 

[BooneCy]

The incharge of the situation statement proves my point. Too many people are blaming the bus driver, the school administration, etc. The person in charge was the 16 year old, they know right from wrong. The next level for in charge is the parents, too many parents want kids but don't want to be parents in the tough situations, or they want to be the "cool" parents and friends to their kids. They are your kids, not your friends. You can act like friends when they are grown, but when they are growing they need parents that are in charge and showing and instilling in them a sense of right and wrong.

I actually empathize with your general statement. A teenager should be able to have the competency skills to own their actions.

Given the limited amount of information we know about the teenager. He rides a bus to an after school program with younger kids and can be aggressive to peers. I am following a safe assumption there is probably more to the story about this teenager that we will never know, nor do we have the right to know.

It’s not an easy situation, but it is also why people are paid and trained to manage those situations. Confronting the teenager or his parents, especially given what we know might feel good in the moment, but ultimately leads to bigger issues for yourself, or maybe even worse, your child.

Again, not easy and doesn’t necessarily feel right, but supporting the administration and making sure they get it right, aka community involvement and maybe a good lawyer end up being the best option.

 

[BooneCy]

There's a line of nonsense being followed that asserts that every child has a right to an education, even when that child is actively disturbing the right to an education for everyone around them.

Every child does have a right to an education, even the ones causing a disturbance. The schools have channels to educate these students differently. The problem is are we funding those channels. When a school is told to educate all these kids by law, and the government says but we will only fund it 50% of the way. The school has to figure it out. I am not an apologist, but will acknowledge that it is difficult.

Also, kids get expelled all the time. More than not it is the kid who is in special needs, because he is seen as the problem.