A possible solution that makes sense so it will never happen:
Move Purdue & Illinois to the East. Invite SLAM to the West. Stillwater, Lawrence, Ames, and Manhatten. Traditional rivalries, drivable games, sold out stadiums, regional media rating records... Or we could try to keep the Big XII alive - maybe invite UCF and Boise St and Memphis and xyz State. I prefer the former.
As far as our entering a conference module with EIU - how does ATM feel about UT being on their schedule each year? At least we already play Iowa each (regular) year anyway. It would give them another non-con on even years - probably a 1.5 M windfall.